Friday Fun Post On Women: Do You Pay For Dinner? Drinks? | 53 comments (53 topical, 0 hidden)
typos (none / 0)
Ignore the typos in my comment above...I wasn't really paying attention : )

by AnaKasparian on 07/25/2008 12:40:28 PM EST

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I reject and denounce you! (none / 0)
How could you not being paying attention to something so important?!

;)

But yeah, of course the guy shouldn't pay for everything on EVERY date, especially in a long term relationship, that'd be crazy.

And based our social norms and customs, most guys can't get away with not paying for the first date. I would never, ever try that.

PS---What about drinks though Ana? Do you agree or disagree with that I said about them?

by ihavenobias on 07/25/2008 12:48:34 PM EST

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Here is the cold hard truth... (none / 0)
....women use men for drinks. That's why my girlfriends never go into a club with money. They know they won't need it.

So yes. You are right.

by AnaKasparian on 07/25/2008 01:00:47 PM EST

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Yep (none / 0)
Now the question is will all the guys who read this listen, or will they continue to waste their money?

by ihavenobias on 07/25/2008 01:03:04 PM EST

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the risk is worth it (none / 0)

For a guy to invest $8 on a drink as a first attempt to potentially get laid in the future is not such a bad investment.  Just don't go overboard.  I think it is a nice gesture for either sex to buy a person a drink and we shouldn't overanalyze it.  It's a convenient flirting mechanism.

Totally agree with Ana on first impressions.  

by desertpear on 07/25/2008 02:28:11 PM EST

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I respectfully disagree (none / 0)
The first impression if you buy a drink as an icebreaker is that you're willing to give her something without knowing anything about her or without her showing she's interested in any way.

That's a BAD first impression.

You know what a good flirting mechanism is? Being (or pretending to be) confident, walking up and introducing yourself. It's free and she'll respect you more. No cheesy line, just "Hi, I'm (fill in the blank), what's your name"?

Bottom line, if a girl is interested, she'll be interested drink or no drink. An uninterested girl on the other hand will only be nterested in free beverages, not in hooking up with you.

by ihavenobias on 07/25/2008 02:36:22 PM EST

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one-drink max (none / 0)

This "you're willing to give her something without knowing anything about her or without her showing she's interested in any way" is not just an impression, but the truth about men.  Evolutionarily speaking, it makes sense for them to take certain risks in order to get their genes out there.  Men ARE willing to have sex with women they know nothing about and the extent to which they care whether the woman is interested is secondary to whether the disinterested woman might still acquiesce with a little more effort.

One drink is all a man or woman should need to buy.  I think it is friendly.  It has worked for me to have a bartender deliver that first ice-breaker.  Sometimes people are just too dense to understand you are flirting with them, especially men. 

by desertpear on 07/25/2008 02:53:12 PM EST

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Women don't need an icebreaker to meet men (none / 0)
They have breasts and vaginas for that.

But I do agree that IF you buy a drink (which I'm fundamentally opposed to) you've GOT to limit it to one drink and one drink only.

Remember, I'm talking about meeting people here, not about dates. If you're on a date, sure, go nuts and buy drinks. Although hopefully if you're past the first date the girl is cool enough to buy a round here and there.

PS---Of COUuuuRSE(!) men are willing to sleep with women they know little about. The risk they can take is the risk of rejection and humilitation, and that risk exists with my method of simply introducing yourself and avoiding drinks and cheesey lines.


Men that realize a good batting average if .300 will be willing to approach several women until they find one that takes the bait. And look, if you buy a drink you may not find out until it's too late whether or not she's talking to you out of politeness or a sense of obligation, and that's a waste of time and money.

by ihavenobias on 07/25/2008 02:58:58 PM EST

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So here's an interesting question (none / 0)
If she takes the bait, what does that mean?

Does it mean you're compelling, or she's desperate, or just looking for some fun, or what?

by jarett on 07/25/2008 04:13:22 PM EST

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Are you asking (none / 0)
Are you asking what does it mean if she starts talking to you after you introduce yourself (without buying her a drink or using a cheesy pick-up line)?

by ihavenobias on 07/25/2008 04:17:49 PM EST

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That, yes (none / 0)

by jarett on 07/25/2008 05:17:18 PM EST

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Nothing or something (none / 0)
My point is that by not buying a drink you eliminate one variable and decrease the chance that your wasting your time. Sure, she could still talk to you just to be friendly or to flirt a little with no intention of anything more (maybe she wants an ego boost and or she has a boyfriend).

At the very least you aren't wasting money.

PS---Always be the one to ends the conversation and the kiss (if you get to that point).

by ihavenobias on 07/25/2008 05:29:21 PM EST

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From my datin' days (none / 0)

Where do we factor in that drunk girls are bout 3672 times easier to score on than sober girls?

So I say buy em shots. 

Even if it doesn't help you, you are very likely helping some other luckier bastard later.  Men, if we all pay it forward like this we will all be winners.  God Bless America!

by ProfRich on 07/25/2008 03:06:35 PM EST

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Nah (none / 0)
Let some OTHER guy buy the shots and then *you* reap the benefits.

It's like my philosophy on parties.

Never throw the party yourself, just attend it. You get all of the benefits with none of the clean-up, prep and stress making sure that nothing spills, clogs or breaks and that everyone is having fun.

by ihavenobias on 07/25/2008 03:15:28 PM EST

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Friday Fun Post On Women: Do You Pay For Dinner? Drinks? | 53 comments (53 topical, 0 hidden)