I think the entire frame of the discussion is inadequate, and looks in the wrong area.  It isn't about whether or not a person likes to be lied to.

One hugely important thing to remember is this: nobody chooses to be attracted to another person.  It's impossible to inject logic into your base emotions.  You're either attracted to somebody or you're not.  That brings us to the question: what is it that people want?

So what is it that people want?  The answer is simple: we all want to bask in the feelings and emotions associated with being attracted to another person.  For men, physical attractiveness is a big factor (at least at the beginning of a relationship).  For women, well... I won't lie here, I'm still trying to figure women out... but I would say that women are drawn more to personality over physical attractiveness.

Lets be honest... you put a man in a room with a hot woman, and he'd be ready to have sex with her immediately.  They don't even have to talk because he couldn't care less.  But flip the situation around now.  Would a woman jump to have sex with a man without a word?  The answer is no.

Women look for a person of value.  Someone who is confident, socially savvy, a leader, a person of status.  That's why women fawn over celebrities.  Some of them aren't even as good looking as any other regular dude on the street.  But the celebrity has already conveyed all of the above qualities.  That guy on the street hasn't, hence he isn't as attractive as the celebrity.

Obviously, we can't all become celebrities in order to demonstrate our wonderful qualities.  Hence, men are left with communication (whether that be verbal or otherwise--i.e. body language) to use to attract a woman.  We tell stories, make jokes, play games, thus expressing who we are through the things we say and do.  You don't have to lie.  Lying has nothing to do with attraction.  You simply have to say and do things in a... different way, a unique way.  A way that makes you stand out from the crowd.  A way that conveys your strong personality and traits that women love.  A way women enjoy.

It isn't lying.  After all, we all put on masks in different situations.  The way you act in front of your boss at work differs greatly from the way you act with your husband or wife.  I don't see the changes in behaviour as lying but, rather, it's you conveying a different part of yourself.

Maybe I'll tack more on to this later.  Watching TYT while thinking and typing is hard. :o

by invert on 01/23/2009 08:12:16 PM EST

"Women look for a person of value.  Someone who is confident, socially savvy, a leader, a person of status.  That's why women fawn over celebrities."

Because men never look for a person of value, and men definitely don't fawn over celebrities.

"We tell stories, make jokes, play games, thus expressing who we are through the things we say and do."

Women never do this (because women don't have personalities worth expressing, of course).

"Lets be honest... you put a man in a room with a hot woman, and he'd be ready to have sex with her immediately.  They don't even have to talk because he couldn't care less.  But flip the situation around now.  Would a woman jump to have sex with a man without a word?  The answer is no."

[/end snark] Actually, yes, except that women are afraid of being hurt by the man. Except that women are afraid of being impregnated by the man. Except that women are afraid of being seen as slutty. Et cetera, et cetera.

It's not that women don't want sex, or sex for it's own sake. They do. Rather, it's that between societal conditioning and rational self-preservation, they can't actually afford to pursue sex single-mindedly like men can.

by QED on 01/27/2009 01:59:54 PM EST

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