What "disqualifies" me?  Trying to squeeze a contextual meaning out of that sentence is enough to make me want to ignore you.  But asking "who judges what is and is not sexist" is much worse than silly.  It makes me wonder if you know what sexism is. Sexism is "behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex" (see Merriam-Webster).  That's actually a pretty objectively measurable criterion for anyone who has any sense at all.

Clearly, I have no idea what kinds of relationships you've had with women, but I experience no "friction" (which you force me to define for myself) in 95% of my relationships with women, which is the same as the amount of "friction" that I experience in my relationships with men.  Perhaps your problems are due to some personality conflicts with women that you are unable to resolve.  I am inclined to place the responsibility for such "friction" on you, individually, than on the fact of the existence of two sexes.  To do otherwise would be to say that you are not responsible for your behavior.

That is simple logic, and unassailable.  (Therefore, it's a sure bet that you'll try to waste more of my time by trying.)

I'm sorry, but I just can't give you any more of my time.  You ended by saying that a sexist joke isn't sexist.  You are thereby disqualified from being taken seriously.  And just so you don't wonder if I'm trying to be an anonymous internet asshole by being harsh in my criticism of your terribly weak and self-contradictory position, my name is David Dickinson, and I stand by my comments.