Sorry, no offense meant, but making an unequivocal declaration like this when its not true makes it obvious that you are biased. Even if I agree with your POV, which I do, I wouldn't trust what you have without checking your sources (which I think is awesome you listed). If I were researching for info or facts about this issue, after that line my skeptical meter would be high.
I think your arguments can be better if you force yourself to consider the best possible arguments from the other side, not just from the right wing whack jobs, but from the cunning right wing lawyers. Think of it as a legal issue VS a civil rights issue and your arguments will have better depth IMO.
I did this for class, so I needed to have a way to draw the reader's attention in, like my teacher told us multiple times throughout the course. If I was to do this more for a legal case, I would definitely agree that the beginning is not acceptable and needs to be changed.
Thank you for your comment.
