Your first paragraph reminded me of something I read in one of Al Franken's books that I thought was spot on.   He said that many conservatives seem to love their country in the way that a 5-year-old loves its mother.   They won't tolerate criticism of it (Don't call my mommy names!) and won't take into consideration or even care whether there is validity behind complaints against it.  

A better way to look at is with a more mature kind of love, where you want to see it learn and grow and improve, yet you try to prod it into abandoning destructive practices, to help it become a better, happier, healthier citizen of the world.

It's a bit of an over-generalization but there's a kernel of truth to it.