What the hell is a rockportulus?

Shoes dude?

Shoes.

Shoes?

Shoes.

You're sitting here, talking to a franchise playa, and we in here talking about shoes?

Shoes?

Shoes.

Shoes?

Okay, Allen Iverson moment aside...

I'd call you weak sauce, but that would upset the weak sauce out there.

Here are just a few examples of better digs on my name:

Suckulus

Buttulus

Rockusuck

Cockulus

Rockuless

So, keep tryin'

My bona fide pseudo-Texan

(I'm so glad you've embraced it)