Let's face it. Americans love their big cars. But what if we could revive the auto industry, help the environment, and reduce our dependency on foreign oil all at the same time? Think it's impossible? Nonsense.

The way to do it, ironically, is to take the Bush approach to the matter. In other words, wrap the auto industry in the American flag.

Ford should start first. They produce the "Ford Patriot," an inexpensive Chevy Sprint-ish type of vehicle that gets 40-45 miles to the gallon, even without hybrid technology. What kind of incumbent politician would be caught dead in any other vehicle other than something named "the Patriot?"

Those on the left will buy it for its high efficiency. Those on the right will buy it because "America is Number One." Everyone else will buy it because petrol is $3 a gallon.

Not to be left behind, GM produces the Chevy NFO: No Foreign Oil. The righties will rename this car "Number F*****' One." The small pick-up truck version of the NFO has a built-in gun rack as an option. Why be the type of patriot who flies a flag outside a rear window, thus increasing drag, reducing efficiency, and causing us to import even more oil, when you can be the type of patriot who drives a vehicle which decreases our dependence on energy from abroad?

Think of the television advertising blitz:

"I bought the NFO because in this war on terrorism, I'm either with us or I'm against us."

"I'm driving the Patriot over here, so we don't have to send our patriots over there."

"I ain't no lib'rul. I was against higher fuel standards before I was for it."

More American dollars staying here for good-paying manufacturing jobs instead of going to Saudi Arabia. More of the National Guard staying over here to perform the duties they signed up for instead of policing randomly-invaded countries. Cleaner air. National security less prone to the whims of unstable oil-rich nations.

Everyone wins.

by river96b on 05/06/2006 09:45:24 PM EST