The United States never had a civil war

Email Print posted by Hubble 08/21/2006 08:13:52 PM EST

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We had and election, so we had no civil war

“You know, I hear people say, Well, civil war this, civil war that. The Iraqi people decided against civil war when they went to the ballot box.” - President George “Shrub” Bush.

“I'm a war president.  I make decisions here in the Oval Office in foreign-policy matters with war on my mind.” –Dubya again

“I want to be the peace President." – Yep. You guessed it. Give a twig a break.

There you have it, boys and girls. The great and powerful Shrub has decreed that if you have an election, you just can’t have a civil war.

Now that we have established what does and does not constitute a civil war, we have to confiscate all American history books currently in circulation so we can apply the Orbushian truth to our own form of Newspeak – “Shrubspeak.”

Will the Orbushian “truth” be that the United States had no election before the War of Northern Aggression (we can’t call it a civil war) - or will Southerners be recast in history as “insurgents” who hated themselves because of their freedom?

Interestingly, the three best known slogans from Orwell have been given new life and meaning under our “War/Peace” president:

War is Peace - We have been informed by his Shrubdom that the “War on Terror” will last for generations, so to maintain a semblance of peace, we will forever be at war.

Freedom is Slavery - In order to ensure our freedom, it is imperative that we as a society give up the civil liberties and freedoms that we previously enjoyed in order to remain free. I know - it makes you shake your head, clear your ears and mutter, “Huh?”) But trust us: to be free, we must be placed in bondage.

Ignorance is Strength - I know that many have been taught that knowledge is king (my wife’s favorite song by Kool Moe Dee), but in our current situation, the only way to remain strong is to keep the populace ignorant.

The only way to maintain a free and open society is to allow the government to be closed and secret.

After all, you don’t really need to know - do you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The United States never had a civil war | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden)
worth thinking about (none / 0)
posted

by yturks on 08/22/2006 01:29:50 AM EST

Follow the money (none / 0)
The United States did not have a civil war; it had a war of secession. Lincoln was unwilling to let some states break away from the union and deprive the federal beast of tax revenue.

by Twba on 08/22/2006 05:07:06 AM EST

evil conservatives (none / 0)
As usual, tDUBYAba is correct. All wars are about the money, regardless of how the organizers try to sell it.

I highly recommend the movie Why We Fight. It is a leftist, anti-war documentary, but I found very little to disagree with.

There is no doubt that conservatives’ number one goal is the expansion of America’s economic and political and military influence dominance in the world. Our religion is American Exceptionalism. We are Unilateralists. We love American Hegemony. We believe the world would be much the better if it was more like America.

I realize you liberals think the neocon philosophy is completely ridiculous and insane, but how do you think America achieved the position of global preeminence in the first place? Because we’re a bunch of nice guys? Because we’re interested in world peace and global harmony? Because we want to share our wealth and bounty with the rest of the world?

Let’s say you’re a dope-smoking, Birkenstock-wearing hippie, and you can’t compete in a capitalistic society. That’s OK. The Dude Abides. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. Conservatives will continue to do all of the heavy lifting and provide you with a good country to live in. You'll be safe, and you’ll have a higher economic standard of living than the rest of the world. If you ever decide you want to work hard, you’ll be able to acquire substantial wealth, just like the rest of us have done.

But if you want to live in a second-class, economically weak, socialistic society, do us a favor. Please don’t try to make America weaker. Just move your worthless ass to another country!

by KenTX on 08/22/2006 08:01:10 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Quote (none / 0)
"Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king."

-Sideshow Bob

by alphasigmookie on 08/22/2006 11:50:10 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Tories (none / 0)
"... and rule you like a king."

Sometimes, I think that's what neo-cons, (or at least this administration), really want: to create an American monarchy.

by Buddha Bubba on 08/22/2006 02:53:26 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Dueling royal families (none / 0)
Sometimes, I think that's what neo-cons, (or at least this administration), really want: to create an American monarchy.

We'll thwart the neocons by... uh... ummm... installing another member of the Clinton family in the White House. Yeah, that's the ticket.

by Twba on 08/22/2006 05:25:28 PM EST

[ Parent ]
No Queen Hilary (none / 0)
"We'll thwart the neocons by... uh... ummm... installing another member of the Clinton family in the White House. Yeah, that's the ticket."

Please don't confuse me as a Clintonista or some Democrat bobblehead.  Rationality does not have a political affiliation.  I'm not going to "drink the Kool-Aid", no matter how water-downed it is.

by Buddha Bubba on 08/23/2006 09:17:18 AM EST

[ Parent ]
If Jack were President. (none / 0)
Col. Jessep President Bush: I run my unit the country how I run my unit the country. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards away from 4000 Cubans Lobbyists and Lawyers who are trained to kill defend me, so don't think for one second that you [Democrats] can come down here to Washington, flash a badge threaten to Impeach me, and make me nervous.
Col. Jessep President Bush: Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg Nancy Pelosi? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago your lost liberties, and you curse the marines Patriot Act. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death the War in Iraq, while tragic, probably Kind-a-sort-of-maybe saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives ends soon. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand A Post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

From A Few Good Men, 1992.

by Love in 2024 on 08/22/2006 01:09:43 PM EST

The Col Jessup quote (none / 0)
is a perfect analogy for the message George Bush delivered in the press conference yesterday.

You didn't need to make the last two edit modifications in the quote.


Have you seen the GOP poll numbers from USA Today? Karl Rove is working his magic again.

by KenTX on 08/22/2006 01:53:01 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Evil Genius (none / 0)
"Have you seen the GOP poll numbers from USA Today? Karl Rove is working his magic again."

You have to admit Rove is probably the worlds greatest Evil Genius.  That man can spin dog turds into diamonds! 

by alphasigmookie on 08/22/2006 02:05:58 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I don't know about evil (none / 0)
But he damn sure is a genius.

Rush Limbaugh spent a day with Karl in the White House last month, and he was blown away by his knowledge.

Rush said he has met hundreds of brilliant people in his lifetime, but nobody who can hold a candle to Karl.

by KenTX on 08/22/2006 02:16:34 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Genius or Illusionist? (none / 0)
The more i think of it, karl rove may infact be more of a brilliant illusionist than a genius.  He is the david copperfield of politics.  He is incredibly adept at weaving his own version of reality and then making people believe it.  He is the ultimate propagandist (if that's a word).  But like all illusionists, his power lies in peoples ability to become easily distracted and not question the reality presented to them.  Although he is still immensely powerful, i personally believe his power is waning as people are starting to become wise to his tricks. 

by alphasigmookie on 08/22/2006 02:39:52 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Shrubspeak at its finest (none / 0)

BUSH: I square it because imagine a world in which you had Saddam Hussein, who had the capacity to make a weapon of mass destruction, who was paying suiciders to kill innocent life, who had relations with Zarqawi.

You know, I’ve heard this theory about, you know, everything was just fine until we arrived [in Iraq] and — you know, the stir-up-the-hornet’s- nest theory. It just doesn’t hold water, as far as I’m concerned.

The terrorists attacked us and killed 3,000 of our citizens before we started the freedom agenda in the Middle East. They were …

QUESTION: What did Iraqi have to do with that?

BUSH: What did Iraq have to do with what?

QUESTION: The attacks upon the World Trade Center.

BUSH: Nothing. . . . .Except for it’s part of — and nobody’s ever suggested in this administration that Saddam Hussein ordered the attack. Iraq was a — Iraq — the lesson of September the 11th is: Take threats before they fully materialize…

More Shrubspeak at its finest. 

MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! WE HAVE A NEW CATCH PHRASE! I REPEAT WE HAVE A NEW CATCH PHRASE! From this day forward please refrain using the phrase “war in Iraq”, it has been replaced with “The freedom agenda in the Middle East.”

Besides the obvious question of exactly what is a suicider, how is this putting it to the press?

He ties Saddam to the attacks of 9-11 and then denies he is doing so.

He brings up Zarqawi, implying that Saddam had some link to him when the CIA has repeatedly discredited this story.

He goes on about Saddam wanting WMD’s as if that proves something. Lots of children want a pony, but it doesn’t mean they can get one. After all most children have the “capacity” to have a pony even if they don’t have the means of having one.

He admits that Iraq had nothing to do with 9-11 then says “Except for its part of".

Its part of what George? Please for God’s sake we are listening! Except what?

Here’s an idea, finish a thought for once.

No one would argue that everything was fine in Iraq before we decided to occupy it. No one would argue that Saddam was a great guy. What we would argue and what the middle eastern experts were saying is that Saddam was not a threat, he was boxed in by no fly zones and sanctions, and that for all the wanting in the world he was not close to acquiring WMD;s of the nuclear,  chemical, or biological kind any time in the foreseeable future. What we would argue is that by occupying Iraq we have destabilized the region and created a training ground for terrorist who will use the skills learned in a U.S occupied Iraq to kill more innocent people throughout the world.  

Of course those who worship at the alter of Shrub will continue to suspend reality, ignore the truth and except as gospel Shrubspeak, even when it contradicts itself in the same statement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by Hubble on 08/23/2006 08:24:24 AM EST

[ Parent ]
The United States never had a civil war | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden)
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