"Mr. President, thank you, Sir, I wanted to ask how our search for Osama bin Laden is going.  Are we "smoking him out" Sir or is he "someone you don't think about?"

"Listen Newbie, hope you don't mind if I call you Newbie.  You probably don't know better than to ask questions about secret operations, operations that are top..., that we don't want the enemy to know about, classified intel (eyes squint).  I could answer your question, but that would make you a traitor to your country.  Hey hey."

"I thought the question was justified, Sir, because Osama bin Laden is responsible for the greatest terrorist act on American soil, and not only did this  happen on your watch, Mr. President, but now we know that you were warned that Al-Queda was planning an attack prior to 9/11, that the CIA verbally informed you that Al-Queda agents were planning to use hijacked airplanes and crash them into buildings in New York and Washington.  You reacted to this news at the time by saying, 'Now the CIA has covered its ass.'  You were informed of the attack in advance.  Condole eza Rice had a report on her desk a month in advance of 9/11.  The threat was ignored.  Don't you ever want to 'catch the bad guy' Sir?"

"Of course, I want to catch the bad guy.  We, the government, my administration, everyone here is working hard, trying our best, staying the course, fighting the good fight to bring the evildoers to justice, and we did underestimate the enemy, but that is in the past.  Right now, we are fighting the terrorists abroad, so they don't attack us at home.  We are not going to cut and run from Iraq because that is the best way to keep America safe."

"Excuse me, Mr. President, but you yourself admitted that Iraq had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks.  In fact, Saddam was a secular ruler and was not a terrorist.  He was a despot, one that the United States put in charge to offset the influence and power of Iran, but he was not a terrorist.  In fact, he hated Al-Queda and Osama bin Laden more than you.  He had more reasons to fear their influence or their plotting against him because he was actually helping to hold terrorism at bay in the Middle East.  He maintained the stability of his country more effectively than has been possible for us since you propagated false evidence to justify an attack against him. In fact, by my counting Sir, given that it was more a personal vendetta than a terrorist threat that made you lead America to war against Iraq, a country that had not even made a threat against us, and given that you ignored intelligence regarding 9/11, you are personally responsible for the deaths of over 5,000 innocent American lives and counting."

"Now just hold on Newbie.  We don't generally allow the press to make speeches in here.  Are you running for office?  Hee hee.  But seriously, this is the kind of mistaken mischaractrization (sic) that leads to Americans not trusting the press corps.  Let me give you a little geography lesson, see, because Iraq is in the Middle of a terrorist zone.  By taking the attack to the enemy, we keep ourselves safe here in the homeland.  And this government is working hard to make America safe again."

"Iraq was not a terrorist zone until we made it into one by mishandling operations there after you declared "Mission Accomplished."  And you do a disservice to America when you characterize us as racists who see all of the Middle East as a "terrorist zone" as you call it.  The Muslim world does not equal terrorist world, and isn't it bigoted of you to make that association?  Besides, you can't hide your guilt by this continual rationalization that you are making things better here.  The only thing that has made us safer here is the event of 9/11 itself.  We pay more attention now.  Homeland Security, the Patriot Act, Domestic Spying, ignoring the FISA law and court, outing CIA agents, attacking those with opinions different from the administration, attacking Iraq and the list of constitutional violations goes on--these things have not made us one whit safer.  We could have prevented 9/11 if you and Ms. Rice had just paid attention in August of 2001.  Now we do pay attention--because you and your administration's pride got in the way of protecting the country--and the 9/11 tragedy happened.  You could have redeemed yourself by following the path of Al-Queda and Osama.  That would have been justice.  When you pressured the intelligence services to justify an attack on Iraq, you left the path of righteousness and entered on the path of blood fued, abusing the power of your office for personal reasons.  When the evidence against Iraq was not good enough, you took discounted evidence and used fear tactics to scare America into following your lead.  America faithfully wrote you a blank check and gave you a big stick.  You've abused that faith and trust with lies and corruption, torture and injustice.  Isn't it time you sought redemption for your own soul before it is too late.  Isn't it time to admit all of your wrongs and seek the forgiveness of the American people?"

"I see right through you, Mr. Glory Hound, how you just want to turn everything upside down.  I didn't attack America--Al Queda did.  And Saddam got what he deserved.  Now let's turn to some real reporters and take some real questions."

Guards move in to take our Young Turk away.