First off, who the HELL is Tila Tequila? She's about as talented as Kim Kardashian...meaning that she has never done anything significant with herself other than whoring her body around in playboy and on the internet. She's supposed to be a singer, but her singing is about as good as Karl Rove's rapping. She's pretty, but she's no Kardashian. In my honest opinion, I've seen prettier girls at the supermarket.

Secondly, who dresses this woman? Her sense of style is horrible! Okay, okay, she has a  nice body. We get it. But put some damn clothes on! And when you do try to stay away from Forever 21! The last episode I watched included Tila embellished in cheap gold sequins. I think sequins should be banned.

Nevertheless, for some inexplicable reason, Ms. Tequila is everywhere. She's on magazine covers like Maxim, she has her own reality show, her myspace page has an unprecedented amount of friends, and people seem to really have this obsession with her.

It's mind-blowing! When I listen to her talk and giggle on her show, I can't help but hit my head against the wall. Homer Simpson seems to make more sense when he speaks. Why is it that people who have nothing important to contribute to society have all the money and fame? I have to admit, I'm a little envious. I spend a lot of time working hard and getting an education. Tila shows off her implants, makes out with men and women on national television, and displays her naughty tattoos. She wins the popularity contest, not to mention makes 100 times more than I do.

But I can't be too bitter. I love watching her show. Not because I like her, or because it's really entertaining. I like the show because it makes me feel good about working hard and having an appetite for knowledge. I wouldn't want to be in her shoes, because when Tila is 50 she'll have the looks of Joan Rivers and an IQ as low as Bush's approval ratings. Go Tila!