Bush and Cheney Shredding Torture Memos

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11/17/2008 01:48:16 AM EST Google Technorati del.icio.us digg reddit

With the string of recent victories, Democrats in Congress are feeling their oats and testing the waters with their new powers. With the current love fest going on between Laura Bush and Michelle Obama, amidst all the civility one would be forgiven for forgetting just how nasty things have been the past few years.

Well, just in time, not a moment too late: Pat Leahy, Sheldon Whitehouse, John D. Rockefeller IV and Dianne Feinstein sent a kindly reminder over to House not to forget to hand in any papers they owe before tidying up the place and making scarce.

One can only imagine what the nearly imperial Dick Cheney would muse upon receiving the news.

A Drunk Dick Cheney responds to Sheldon Whitehouse:

Mrs. Rosewater is a fictional character that appears in several Kurt Vonnegut Jr. novels, as a recurring character. Rose Mary Woods was Nixon's secretary, the one supposedly responsible for destroying the 18 minutes of tape and other records and documents. I imagine her here as having the high pitched voice of the secretary at the school in, "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

VP: Mrs. Rosewater, would you get in here. What the fuck is this mess?

Mrs. Rosewater: Oh oh just some papers. Oh that nice fella Mr. Whitehouse, hehe, oh I get such a chuckle out of that name, that nice fella Mr. Whitehouse he brought over some papers you were supposed to look at.

VP: Well, where the fuck are they, god damnit can't make sense of anything in here. Oh and where is the combo to the safe? And for godsake refill my bourbon. And reset the thermo to 68. And why the fuck isn't the TV on fox? Holy fucking shit that's loud, lower the volume while you're at it. Did you get my oxy refilled?

VP (to himself): OK OK, let's see here (puts on reading glasses) Blah blah blah blah, David Addington, blah blah blah.

Cheney looks up all of a sudden and listens, then the proverbial light bulb goes off and he remembers something.

VP: Oh fuck ya, that reminds me, and the safe combo is, Mr. Rosewater? Hello?!? Mrs. ROSEWATER!

Mrs. Rosewater: Oh just a minute darling, just fixing the thermo.

VP (again, to himself): Oh fuck all, OK, let's see, blah blah blah. Watergate? Oh good times, good times. Like I need to fucking be reminded that is why you put the safeguards in place, who is this fuck Sheldon Whitehouse? Does he even realize I'm the one who was in charge of destroying the documents under Ford? Holy fucking shit amateurs. Oh you've got some questions for me fuckers. Fine, fine. Ok, let's see here.

Cheney does an Ed Norton impression from the Honeymooners and gets ready to write, working himself into it. He handwrites the reply out and speaks his words as he writes them.

VP (aloud): Number one. Oh that's rich, that's rich boy. What steps? I'll tell ya what fucking steps. Step one, tell you to shut the fuck up. Step two, completely ignore your pansy asses. Step three, tell you to go to hell and you'll get them when you pry this shotgun from my cold dead hands. Step four, explain to you'll why I am above the law. (Ahem) Moving right along. Number two. Why the fuck would I tell you if I was going to destroy docs? Geez, like, oh ya, I'm destroying these documents just wanted to tell you why I think I can. Wow the balls on this Whitehouse fella.

Mrs. Rosewater (from the other room): Excuse me? Did you say balls?

VP: What?

Mrs. Rosewater: Huh?

VP: Mrs. Rosewater go back to cleaning thank you.

Mrs. Rosewater: Oh will do dear.

VP (again, aloud, to himself while writing): Number 3. Blah blah blah. Number 4. Have I investigated? Do you know who the fuck I am? The Washington Post? I wouldn't wipe my ass with that liberal rag if it were lined with gold and printed on a diamond fucking printing press. And you know what, go tell that fucking turncoat Woodward to find a new pansy sucker to play out. Uggh I can't believe I trusted him for a minute. 9/11 changed everything my ass. Once a fucking commie liberal always a fucking commie liberal. God damn Woodward and Bernstein. Oh oh the Old Man woulda loved this. Rich, rich I tell ya. God damn fucking commies. Washington Post, holy fucking shit, do you have anymore fucking questions for me or can I go back to my bourbon and water and working on my golf game.

Cheney puts down the pen, picks up his drink, and wanders seemingly lost around the office for a moment or two, as if looking for something, in deep deep thought.

VP: God damn it Mrs. Rosewater, where the fuck is the other controller for the Wii? Mrs. Rosewater have you been fucking with my Wii again? I told you I fucking hate it when I turn it on and it is set to fucking tennis. Holy fucking shit just leave it alone will you?!?

Mrs. Rosewater: Ohh sorry dear, was just working on my backhand a bit.

VP: God damn it! Fucking amateurs, I'm surrounded by fucking amateurs. Did you reset the thermo yet?

Mrs. Rosewater: Oh in a minute dear, I was just hitting the bourbon myself.

Read the full text of the actual letter sent from Sheldon Whitehouse to Finky Fiddlestein (er, Fred Fielding), Esquire, Council to the President, here.



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Bush and Cheney Shredding Torture Memos | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden)
Here's my policy, if I were BHO trying to get (none / 1)

 ...re-elected in 2012.

 

If leakers go the the MSM after January 20th on major issues.  Prosecute the fuck out of bushies.

If not, don't touch it with a 50 foot pole.

Personally, I would like to see prosecutions either way, but if I were his political advisor, that's what I'd be saying.

Run, Republicans, run as far to the right as you can. It's your only hope! Any combination of Cheney/Jindal/Palin/Steele/ Limbaugh/Cantor/Gingrich '12!

by richardshort2001 on 11/17/2008 01:54:58 AM EST

agreed (none / 0)
I agree, but I wonder if this new sort of warm fuzzy move-to-center Obama will later make other changes, like not redeploying the troops as quickly, especially if the Iraqi parliament is in less haste to see them go, or else redeploying them to Afghanistan instead of a complete draw down. Or whether other priorities will shift. I take him at his word he will shut down Gitmo. And I take him at his word he does not want to endorse torture and he does want to heal the relationships around the world that were harmed by Bush and Cheney.

It is just that Bush and Cheney gave the presidency whole new powers, powers that might be tempting. My fear is that if Bush and Cheney aren't prosecuted to the full on torture, that somewhere, someone, either directly working for the US or subcontracted out to the DoD or CIA will torture someone. Will it be planned to make Barack look like the fool, or will it just be a matter of we weren't tough enough on prosecuting Bush and Cheney and the abuses thus weren't fully discovered and uncovered and they were either allowed to continue or continued in secrecy.

I agree with you that politically it is unfeasible and probably unwise to place to much emphasis on revenge when a lot of Barack's popularity and charm rest in his ability to heal wounds and bring people together. And the mood of the country has shifted and there is much more of an emphasis on finding solutions and looking forward.

But something tells me we haven't heard the last of this.

by tiggerporn on 11/17/2008 02:16:22 AM EST

[ Parent ]
The Only Downside (none / 0)

The only downside to prosecuting an ex-President who has a 22% approval rating is the time it will take Congress to investigate and prosecute.

On the other hand, it would divert the media's attention so that stuff could get done without the minute-by-minute scrutiny of the 24-hour media.

Whether or not any prosecution of Bush or Cheney is ultimately successful, the public would appreciate the attempt.

by rbruck on 11/17/2008 08:17:09 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Bay of Pigs 2.0 (none / 0)
I'm not so much concerned with seeing Bush in jail, hell, I'm sure that posterity and the American people will and have made their judgement and that that in some senses is worse, but what I am concerned with is dismantling the apperatus put in place by Bush and Cheney. I know people will say, but why bother, with Barack in office, so many positions will change. But part of the problem is that so much of the so-called military industrial complex that Ike warned about is part of the Washington power structure regardless of whom is in office.

And like I already said, I think it would be very easy for someone who wanted to see a turn around in congress in 2010 to use this structure to make Barack look foolish, similar to the Bay of Pigs with Kennedy.

by tiggerporn on 11/17/2008 03:22:50 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Yet There is More to be said (none / 0)

I can't disagree with much of anything I have read here yet.

However, I'd argue that Bush and all his cronies should all be tried. Not by Congress .... it is their job to GOVERN. But rather by Lawyers, Courts etc. If need be first, by a Congressional Committee or Sub-Committee (I admit, I don't have a strong knowledge of the way US government supposedly works). But surely there is a way and hopefully, Obama would agree that letting CRIMINALS of this stature simply walk away from All of their crimes or Any of their Crimes, would be a Huge Crime in Itself.

So there must be some way that these people can be thoroughly punished for all the world to see, so that No One EVERY considers being so foolish Ever Again.

Obama needs to send a Big Message to the World.

At the same time, Obama himself must immediately get on with the Governing ... never mind the politics .... the elections are over ... a team has won ... they must now Govern.

With any luck, the world as we know it, will still exist in 25 years and we Humans will have all recovered from all the atrocities that have taken place at the hands of these jackals, over the last 8 years (as well as those atrocities that take place all over the world .. every day .. with no help from or thanks to any North American Gov't).

Obama will hopefully be wide-eyed on the whole world and will really prove to change things for the better. Starting by reversing everything that has happened over the last 8 years (but some of which started long before i.e. The New World Order).

Okay ... I'm doing it again. I get going off on tangents ... OR are they ?            In any case, I'm definitely going to get off topic if I continue to write. But thanks for this opportunity to vent   hehe.

It must be bedtime now !

 

by SnowTiger on 11/19/2008 10:45:13 PM EST

Bush and Cheney Shredding Torture Memos | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden)
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