11/25/2008 01:11:59 AM EST

Ten People Who Will Not Replace Alan Colmes

posted by elimenez

For your reading pleasure.  Link

Email Print
Google Technorati del.icio.us digg reddit Facebook

In the most shocking TV breakup since Shirley left Laverne, the liberal half of the debating duo that ruled the cable news ratings during the hotly contested nine o'clock hour, Alan Colmes, announced today that he was leaving Hannity and Colmes.

No word yet on what direction the show will take in Colmes absence, but here are ten possibilities that Fox probably will not be considering any time soon.

Hannity and Rhodes: Watching radio giants Hannity and Nova M liberal Randy Rhodes yell over each other for sixty minutes could actually be more entertaining than that sort of thing sounds like it would be.

Hannity and Smith: Shepard Smith criticized fellow Fox host Hannity a couple weeks ago, accusing Hannity of "being in the business of electing Republicans." Problem with this is, Smith would probably have to take a pay cut to leave his current show.

Hannity and Morris: Dick Morris helped Bill Clinton get elected in 1996, so why not pretend he's liberal? He's on the show a lot already anyway, just move him over one seat and keep right on going.

Hannity and Rove: If they want to drop the liberal host entirely, Karl Rove and Hannity could make for a good duo. Hannity reads a talking point, they high five, Rove reads a talking point, they high-five...

Hannity and Carville: Fellow uber-pundit James Carville and Hannity squared off once when they were both speakers at the Business Council of Alabama in October of 2007.

Hannity and Clark: Last I heard retired General Wesley Clark works for Fox. After Clark's unfortunate run in with Bob Schieffer during the campaign, it appears unlikely that he'll be selected to a position in the Obama administration.

Hannity and Uygur: The liberal host of web cast The Young Turks, Cenk Uygur, is omnipresent on YouTube. Uygur's offbeat personality could actually translate into chemistry with Hannity. From a marketing standpoint, Hannity and Uygur doesn't exactly roll off the tongue the way Hannity and Colmes did.

Hannity and Christopher: No, not soft spoken former Secretary of State Warren Christopher, I'm talking about Political Machine blogger and one of the hosts of blog talk radio's Unusable Signal, Tommy Christopher. Think about it, Hannity.

Sean and Rosie: Liberal boogeyperson Rosie O' Donnell almost wound up with the gig that turned out to be the Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC, now is her chance to compete with Hannity and Maddow at the same time.

Hannity and Hannity: Just let the guy debate himself. It's what he wants.

Jonathan Singer at MyDD has a post about some people actually rumored to be under consideration including current Senatorial candidate Al Franken and Air America web host Sam Seder.
< Palatial Splendor Is a Basic Human Right. | Walk a mile in my shoes >
 Display:
Ten People Who Will Not Replace Alan Colmes | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)
I think.. (none / 0)
Maybe Colmes walked into the office, slammed his fist on the table and demanded that after Obama becomes president the show should be changed to Colmes and Hannity !

Ok, he did occasionally show signs of having some sack which was refreshing at times, but whoever it is they need to be able to look like a liberal opponent without exposing republican hipocracy or lies which is a big ask.

It will not be any strong aggressive type to match Hannity, there is no chance of balance at Fox so dont get hopeful.

by Maverick on 11/25/2008 06:20:43 AM EST

Well said... (none / 0)
The  above comment is so true I can't even follow it up! Fox will never hire someone with a backbone to break up that cult of personality show. Cenk would make a great co-host, but he's too cool for that show. He would have to dumb himself down just to fit in.

by locknkey on 11/25/2008 08:35:15 AM EST

I loved this comment under the article (none / 0)

Robert OKane3:52AMNov 25th 2008

"Cenk Uygur is a complete ding a ling who needs to go on a crash diet. Cenk would add nothing to the show, would be more of a big big negative. Cenk is also one who bends the truth and has been shielded so far by no one taking him to task on the air. This would be a disaster for him for Hannity would make him look just like the fat clown he is"

Seriously though, it is a bit sad that many people see the likes of Hannity and Limbaugh as intellectual giants.

by jutewe on 11/25/2008 11:12:32 AM EST

oh how I would love (none / 0)
to see this matchup. Cenk would reduce Hannity to fetal position thumb-sucking.

by hazmat on 11/25/2008 04:28:50 PM EST

[ Parent ]
It Takes a Special Talent (none / 0)

To go on TV every day and prop up your face so Hannity can slap it around.  Colmes is a rare find.

I know it will never happen, but it is fun to think of Hannity getting paired with someone who isn't a human punching bag.

Can you imagine Hannity and Maddow?  She would just stand there listening and smiling, and then run Hannity into the ground to make him feel 2 inches high.  What would make it more interesting is that Hannity might be too stupid to realize that Rachel just humiliated him.

How about Hannity and Franken, assuming Coleman comes out on top on the recount?  Sean would be Hanitizing toilet bowls after a few shows with Al.

Or Hannity and Jesse Jackson?  "Who you callin' Boy, boy?"  The Reverend is not someone to sit back and let Hannity spout off his closet racism.

Nah, this will never happen.  Fox will be looking for some liberal doormat with low self esteem who wants a fat salary.

by rbruck on 11/25/2008 03:33:13 PM EST

"Hannity and Uygur doesn't exactly roll... (none / 0)

off the tongue the way Hannity and Colmes did."

How about "Hannity and Gnomes": he spews his rhetoric at wooden travel gnomes who don't challenge him at all, or "Hannity and Combs": he sits in front of a mirror and combs his hair and admires his own image (alternative, "Vanity and Combs",) or "Hannity and Holmes" during which Sean gets the crap beat out of him physically by Larry, or finally "Hannity and Poems" where he puts his crap into rhymes for his brainless minions. Just a few ideas to help with the "marketing" aspect.

by tifosies on 11/26/2008 07:22:16 AM EST

How about Hannity and Noam? (none / 0)

Or Hannity and Holmes, but this time it's John Holmes. Hilarity will surely ensue.

by Spencer on 11/26/2008 02:39:35 PM EST

[ Parent ]
...good spencer, (none / 0)

and there's always the British show "Hannity and Scones" (OK I'm stretching...)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by tifosies on 11/26/2008 03:51:48 PM EST

[ Parent ]
OOOPS! How do I delete/fix this? (none / 0)

by tifosies on 11/26/2008 03:55:24 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Can't do it. (none / 0)
Now we'll all just have to scroll past it every time.  Thanks a lot tifosies.  I'll never forgive you for this.  ;)

by Spencer on 11/27/2008 03:30:17 AM EST

[ Parent ]
SQ, E (none / 0)
(tifosies Smiled Quietly, Embarrassed.) Lesson learned: always PREVIEW posts.

by tifosies on 11/27/2008 06:52:45 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Ten People Who Will Not Replace Alan Colmes | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)
 Display: