Ageist McCain Jokes HERE

Email Print posted by OneHitKill 03/26/2008 11:11:12 PM EST

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If nothig else, I do my part to promote two things on this forum:  Humor and consolidation.  In the interest of both, use this thread as a display case for your finest elderly  McCain humor.

Bring your "McCain is so old..." jokes to this thread.

So far we've had some good ones:

MRFred said McCain's VP needs CPR certification and the physical strength to lug a portable de-fib machine.

Bobo1 said McCain is old enough to have competed (nude) in the original Olympic Games.

A few more, off the top of my head:

McCain is so old, his doctor is an archaeologist.

McCain is so old, his life is divided into epochs.

McCain is so old, his birth certificate is carved into a stone tablet.

McCain is so old, his childhood home was wiped out by glaciers.

McCain is so old, you can no longer determine his age by "counting the rings."

McCain is so old, he got beat up by neanderthals -- actual neanderthals -- in school.

McCain is so old, his memory is in black-and-white.

McCain is so old, there's a picture of him playing basketball with Jesus and Yoda in his high school yearbook.

McCain is so old, he remembers when the Dead Sea was just starting to get sick.

McCain is so old, he knew Mr. Clean back when Mr. Clean had dreadlocks.

McCain is so old, he took his driver's test on the back of a stegosaurus.

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Ageist McCain Jokes HERE | 18 comments (18 topical, 0 hidden)
McCain is so old (none / 1)
his SSN is 3.

by z1p101 on 03/26/2008 11:16:15 PM EST

John McCain is so old, (none / 0)
that his birthstone is pumice.

by KenTX on 03/26/2008 11:56:19 PM EST

McCain is so old (none / 0)

That he was using Nancy Regan for support.

Hurry it up old man.

John McCain is your jalopy (keep clicking the text to see more).

by Spencer on 03/27/2008 12:10:33 AM EST

this is the best one so far (none / 0)

by hazmat on 03/27/2008 01:03:00 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Too bad it's hindered by my Regan typo. (none / 0)
Curses.

by Spencer on 03/27/2008 06:10:38 AM EST

[ Parent ]
John McCain is so old... (none / 0)

... He remembers when the internets were just a bunch of tubes.

John McCain is so old, his favorite movie is The Great Train Robbery.

John McCain is so old, he knew Larry King's first wife.

John McCain is so old, his yearbook pictures were painted.

John McCain is so old, his first word was the actual first word.

by Spencer on 03/27/2008 12:23:13 AM EST

John McCain is so old... (none / 0)

He remembers when Father Time was just Randy Time.

In case it isn't obvious, this is my favorite thread.  Everyone should recommend it (whatever that does) to keep it alive. 

by Spencer on 03/27/2008 12:25:38 AM EST

John McCain is so old... (none / 0)
I told him to act his age, and the fucker died!!

He watches PBS...

He knew the Burger King when he was a Prince...

hes mentioned in the "Shout out" section at the end of the Bible...

He helped write the Dead Sea Scrolls...

More later....

:)

by bobo1 on 03/27/2008 12:37:38 AM EST

McCain is so old (none / 0)
his portrait is a cave painting

by hazmat on 03/27/2008 01:01:54 AM EST

He's so old..... (none / 0)

...he farts dust.

 

 

by no way on 03/27/2008 05:21:25 AM EST

So old that . . . (none / 0)
His pacemaker is powered by steam.
His immigration policy regulates Pilgrims.
His health policy provides for bleeding and leeches.
His gun control policy opposes regulation of muskets.
His original party affiliation was Tory.

by Dogger on 03/27/2008 05:30:40 AM EST

McCain (none / 0)
Hey It's nice to see a place you can tell a joke, And not be called a racist (ha ha). Good thing It's not anything about someone else we all know and like. can't tell no joke's there. Oh and McCain Is so old , That he can say Trian , Steam , What name so, While scraching his head.

by tuna on 03/27/2008 05:54:20 AM EST

McCAin is so old that.. (none / 0)
he needs to show the nation age isn't an issue so he plans to campaign vigorously in all 13 states. (Reagan joke)

by acroso on 03/27/2008 05:54:22 AM EST

McCain is so fat... (none / 0)
That when he sits around the house, he actually sits around--  Wait... forget it.

by Spencer on 03/27/2008 06:09:03 AM EST

Huckabee says.... (none / 0)

....he was around to witness Creation, 6000 years ago.

....he is able to get stiff in the morning, but it is due to petrification.

 

by no way on 03/27/2008 07:18:50 AM EST

McCain is so old.... (none / 0)
He's used Preparation E, F, and G for his hemorrhoids.

by bfaul on 03/27/2008 09:09:34 AM EST

[ Parent ]
What fun! (none / 0)

McCain is so old, he spent his middle-age years complaining, "Damn kids these days, dying of tuberculosis..."

McCain is so old, when he was in school, there was no history class.

McCain is so old, he owes Fred Flintstone five bucks.

McCain is so old, his Straight Talk Express used to be a Straight Talk Wagon Train.

McCain is so old, his "Bridge to the Past" costs $9.4 trillion in tolls. 

McCain is so old, his childhood friends could all be classified as either "bird-hipped" or "lizard-hipped."

McCain is so old, scientists ten years from now will observe his skeleton and argue about whether or not he used tools. 

McCain is so old, retired people are afraid to vote for him.

(Okay, so that last one wasn't really funny in the "ha ha" sense.)

by OneHitKill on 03/27/2008 10:05:10 AM EST

Oy...John McCain is so OLD. (none / 1)

Audience: How old is he?

He's sooo old that he changed his name from just Cain. ( rimshot).

He's sooo old that every day at 4 oclock the Straight Talk express stops at Morrisons for the early bird special. ( rimshot).

He's sooo old that there is nothing left to learn the hard way. ( rimshot).

Hes sooo old that when McCain walked ice cream parlor and ordered a banana split the waitress asked  "Crushed nuts?" "No," McCain replied, "Arthritis." ( rimshot)

McCain is sooo old and his hearing sooo bad that he bought a new state of the art  hearing aid. When asked by a reporter on the Straight Talk Express"What kind is it?" McCain replied "Twelve thirty. " ( rimshot)

 Thank you ...your too kind. I'll be in Atlantic City next week.

 

 

 

by MRFred on 03/27/2008 10:34:41 AM EST

Ageist McCain Jokes HERE | 18 comments (18 topical, 0 hidden)
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