A Day In The Life Of Joe Conservative

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In the chat room we started talking about people who vote against their own economic (among other things) interests, i.e. they vote Republican.

But the fact is most people don't realize that from the time they wake up to the time to go to bed, they are benefitting enormously from things that liberals have fought for (those ideological differences matter). It's a little oversimplified, but the general points it makes are very true and we take them for granted.

Yes, the tone might be a little condescending, but it's in response to those who condescendingly say "hippie/tree hugging/commie/liberal" ; and rant about big government and how everyone should be "self made" and so on.

I can already think of two regulars who will be enraged by this thread and I welcome their reponses. It should be fun!

A Day In The Life Of Joe Conservative

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

 

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance -- now Joe gets it, too.

He prepares his morning breakfast: bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment checks because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the taxpayer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good.

He doesn't mention that the beloved conservatives have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

< Jayar Supreme!!!!!!!!!! | You're not alone Cenk >
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I wish I could participate in the chat when I'm here at work, but I suspect my boss wouldn't be too happy about that.
You forgot that some lazy lib union member also gave us Saturdays off.
But don't forget the good things conservatives have given us.  You know... like... um... you can't buy beer on Sundays.  That's good right?  ;)
Great post.  Consider it printed and passed around the office.

by Spencer on 03/03/2008 04:46:53 PM EST


Hey, to be fair, if it weren't for conservatives you would need a kevlar jacket and a company of armed men to walk downtown in Baghdad.

See! Totally, totally safe! 

Oh, nevermind. 

by bfaul on 03/03/2008 09:53:42 PM EST

[ Parent ]
You're getting a rating of 5 for perfect.

by ihavenobias on 03/03/2008 09:59:23 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I thought I was the only person using this new rating system.

by Spencer on 03/03/2008 10:00:44 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I myself would like to see one of the buttons labeled "A little ragged around the edges".

by bfaul on 03/03/2008 10:14:08 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I posted this article (written by Ray Weinman Jr) on 10-08-2006 under the heading (Those Bad Bad Liberals are Ruining Our Lives.)

And yes Kentx and Twba had a fit

Strange how those bad liberals protect the people

by LORD FOUL on 03/03/2008 05:06:05 PM EST


but kudos to you for posting it before!

It's the kind of thing that needs to be posted over and over until the message is spread and internalized.

People DO take these things for granted, and or they aren't even aware of many of them.

by ihavenobias on 03/03/2008 06:28:57 PM EST

[ Parent ]
This is perfect chain e-mail material.  I mean, it has actual facts in it (one-sided they may be).  That's pretty rare for mass forwards.

by Spencer on 03/03/2008 06:45:00 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Exactly so.

You liberal weiner dogs keep reposting and regurgitating and rehashing the same old stuff.

A couple of hard core liberal weiner dogs in the forum want to ban and outlaw all conservative thought on the TYT website. Then this room would be like a perfect echo chamber. We would have threads that sound like this.

"I'm progressive."

"I'm a liberal."

"You are indeed a liberal, but you're not as progessive as I am."

"I love Barack Obama."

"I'm not gay, but if I were, I would definitely be attracted to Barack Obama."

by KenTX on 03/03/2008 09:46:03 PM EST

[ Parent ]

Nobody's trying to ban you.  Relax.

by Spencer on 03/03/2008 10:07:08 PM EST

[ Parent ]
(Boy, sometimes I amaze myself.  I just love injecting homosexuality into any topic.  Just like when we were in the second grade and accused some other kid of being a "nigger lover".  It's just gotta sting a liberal weiner dog to link them to gays, just like it hurt that kid I picked on who was friends with that black kid I didn't like.)

(Gosh.  Sometimes I wish I was back in the second grade.  Things were so much simpler then.)

by KenTeX on 03/03/2008 10:34:57 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I can't believe you'd say that.

by Spencer on 03/03/2008 10:39:23 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Well, not really.  But sometimes I just have to let it out.  I guess that's why my alter ego has been so vocal lately.  Sometimes I just don't care if people know the truth about my Republican motives.  It's not like they can undo much of what we've done for the next several decades.  It's not like my money will disappear tomorrow.  Hell.  If the economy tanks, all I've got to do is to trade my dollars for euros and move someplace else.  I've got enough money to make it easy.  But I think I can still milk this country for more.

by KenTeX on 03/03/2008 10:48:32 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I can accept all criticism and accusation except charges of racism.

I have Hispanic and Native American ancestry. My sister's kids are Chinese American. My father's brothers are Japanese American.

Family reunions look like a UN conference.

by KenTX on 03/04/2008 02:58:07 AM EST

[ Parent ]

And your mama's auntie is a Jewish eskimo.  Congratu-fucking-lations.&n bsp; Racism and family ethnicity are unrelated.  Find another way to prove your ultimate tolerance to us.

(If your family reunion lost 10 floors, would it make any difference?) 

by OneHitKill on 03/04/2008 03:51:37 AM EST

[ Parent ]
That one earns a "perfect".

by Spencer on 03/04/2008 05:15:22 AM EST

[ Parent ]
 So far that has not been the case.The other members of the militia don't think hes racist.

by Chinese Democracy on 03/04/2008 02:18:07 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Find another way to prove your ultimate tolerance to us.

Well, for starters, I'm probably much more tolerant than your in-laws.

By the way, what is the Asian "pecking order"?

by KenTX on 03/04/2008 06:30:00 PM EST

[ Parent ]

Let's have a link battle, you and I.  Next, I'll post a link about atomic bombs.  Then, you'll post a link about Pearl Harbor, then I'll post a link about US whaling, then you'll post a link about Pokemon.  It'll be great.

I don't know what the "Asian pecking order" is, or if there even is such a thing.  Japan is so pompously nationalistic, it doesn't even consider itself part of Asia.  My post had a point: Telling us all about how rainbow-tastic your family tree is doesn't excuse you from scrutiny when you talk like a bigot.  Your Nanjing response seemed to have apoint akin to, "Oh yeah, well Japan has racists, too!"  Bravo, a winning defense since third grade.

My in-laws (to be) wouldn't call you "round eye."  Nobody really says "round eye."  They're likely to be far more impressed by your "round belly."

by OneHitKill on 03/04/2008 08:27:23 PM EST

[ Parent ]
(Being able to throw my ethicity in their faces always feels great.  It's incredible!  Almost as good as an orgasm!  It proves to those liberal creeps that I really do have a broad view of things.  And it lets me use race to bash anyone I don't like.  I just can't be a racist, right?  After, all, it's their fault that I can compare Obama to a chimp, isn't it?  I mean, they did it to Bush first, right?  Even if I do have to do it indirectly.  Oh.  Hmm.  I'd better watch that.  But I'll never let up on those Muslim terrorists.  That one's just too damned easy nowadays.  Those liberal traitors don't even know how to react.  Hell, we've even got Obama pleading for people to believe that he's not a Muslim!  Hehehe!  How rich is that!  God help me, this is fun!  And blaming Fred for my alter is just too damned convenient.  This is really gonna hurt him.  Oh, wow.  I should have done something like this to that creep a long time ago I hate him so much.  Always throwing my mistakes in my face like that.  Pulling up things I've said in the past all the time.  Well, I've got him now.  Everyone else will hate him, too.  And to hell with that damned medication.  I don't need it anymore.)

by KenTeX on 03/04/2008 10:42:55 AM EST

[ Parent ]
"Sometimes I wish I was back in the second grade.  Things were so much simpler then."


Don't worry, Ken. You're just as simple npw as you were back then.

  :0)

by Dogger on 03/04/2008 02:53:31 PM EST

[ Parent ]
That's the funniest thing I've read all week.  Thanks.

by ynp7 on 03/04/2008 09:08:57 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Twba spent considerable time bad-mouthing the EPA in that post.  I don't think the irony of this ever occurred to him.

by bfaul on 03/03/2008 10:09:54 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I confess I'd be pretty interested in seeing Twba and Ken's response.

by jarett on 03/03/2008 07:27:12 PM EST


of the conent?

I know some Thom Hartmann fans who found it to be very interesting.  It doesn't take a die-hard lefty to appreciate many of those points.

by ihavenobias on 03/03/2008 08:10:50 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I only had one response to this oversimplified nonsense the last time it was posted. Once the thread had gone off on a tangent it was much more interesting and I contributed many comments.

by Twba on 03/04/2008 11:46:26 AM EST

[ Parent ]
was a cop-out and managed to be even less satisfying than I imagined it would be.

Congratulations, you have officially conceded that the general sentiment of the original post is dead on, even if the content is a bit oversimplified.

by ihavenobias on 03/04/2008 01:34:27 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Congratulations, you have officially conceded that the general sentiment of the original post is dead on, even if the content is a bit oversimplified.

You know that is not true, and I have conceded nothing. You are only saying that in an attempt to get me to argue with you. I will debate you when you post an interesting diary.

by Twba on 03/04/2008 02:43:24 PM EST

[ Parent ]
We *both* know you have essentially conceded.  Debate Over, and the general point of the original post stands and shines for all to see.

The End

by ihavenobias on 03/04/2008 03:09:57 PM EST

[ Parent ]
There was some good dialog on that last post. Makes me miss the old days on TYT forum where real, substantive debates occured.

by alphasigmookie on 03/04/2008 04:44:58 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Do yourself a favor and at least skim that old thread. Keep an eye out for someone who now goes by Chinese Democracy.

by Twba on 03/05/2008 10:45:54 AM EST

[ Parent ]
That thread was unusual even for the old days. Sure, we got it off topic and covered a lot of ground, like many threads, but that thread has comments from October of 2006 to the end of 2007.

And I never did get around to downloading that pdf file you linked to. But we discussed a book I still haven't read.

by Twba on 03/05/2008 10:44:15 AM EST

[ Parent ]
A competitive capitalist system can provide all of those services.  We don't need government to tax us in order to provide those services.  If a meat packer, for instance, kills a bunch of people with bad meat then the market will do its job and force them out of business.  Caveat emptor ("Let the buyer beware").  And if some rural county can't afford electricity, why should I pay for it?  Let them move to the city or build their own generating plants.  They can take out loans like everyone else.

I am not that ignorant "Joe Conservative" you wrote about.  I want businesses to provide those services.  I want my business to provide those services.  Sure, you're not going to get exactly what you want, but you're going to get what I can profitably provide.  The rest isn't worth it and I don't want to pay taxes so that you can have it.  I've got mine and to hell with you.

I don't care if others don't live as well as I do.  If they deserved it then they would.  I don't care if others don't have make the same opportunities that I've had made for myself.  They can work for me and try to claw their way to the top.  (But as long as I'm holding on to the top of the rope, they'll climb only as high as I let them -- which won't be very far.)

by KenTeX on 03/03/2008 07:37:51 PM EST


How incredibly original and hilarious!

by jarett on 03/03/2008 07:52:46 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Look, it was really funny when they did it to "bytchbang", mainly because he was so out there beyond the orbit of Neptune, but now it seems more like a cheap trick.  It's confusing and getting annoying.  So really, I for one would prefer people not do that anymore.

by bfaul on 03/03/2008 10:06:11 PM EST

[ Parent ]
If someone in charge makes a rule that I can't be me, then I'll deal with that when it happens.  I'll probably try to break that rule.  But until then, why should I care what some liberal idiot thinks?  I'm using the rules as they are right now for my purposes.  What's wrong with that?

by KenTeX on 03/03/2008 10:42:12 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I give up.

by bfaul on 03/03/2008 11:35:29 PM EST

[ Parent ]
his sentiment is correct. I'm referring to the content of his writing.

But I agree we should avoid nic stealing, 100%.

by ihavenobias on 03/03/2008 08:08:06 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Whoever runs this place can stop me anytime they want to.  Besides, how do you know that I'm not KenTX's alter ego?  I swear to you that I am.  I am Honest KenTX.  I won't be surprised if you get confused, though.  You are, after all, just another idiot liberal.

by KenTeX on 03/03/2008 08:24:26 PM EST

[ Parent ]
IM KENS ALTER EGO!!! HAVEN'T WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT!!!

:)

by bobo1 on 03/03/2008 11:09:49 PM EST

[ Parent ]
How could you possibly be KenTX's alter ego?  Nobody knows what the hell you stand for.  First you say one thing and then another.  Plus, half the stuff you say is just plain crazy.  You say some things about yourself and your views that are probably honest, but then you say things that come from left field.  What's worse, you've even said things that sound like you actually care about others.

You, more than anyone else, should know that I've never been like that.  I always either lie or express no judgment at all except my happiness when liberals lose.  Therefore, you can't be my alter or KenTX's alter or whatever.  I'm always honest and I express my judgements, and I keep my essential "me-ness": I still don't give a damn about anyone else.

You may think we're "friends", but we're not friends.  Sure, I respect some things about you -- your "Favorite Question", for instance.  That kind of insulting, "fuck everyone" attitude really turns me on.  I'll probably still use you from time to time, too.  You've been a useful ally sometimes.  But mostly you give me indigestion, so please be offended when I ignore you.

by KenTeX on 03/03/2008 11:40:00 PM EST

[ Parent ]
My Caucasians must be kicking in now...

I cant stop laughing!!!!

Good deal, I know my place now...

:)

by bobo1 on 03/03/2008 11:44:07 PM EST

[ Parent ]
KenTex with a "E," how seriously can anyone take Bobo?  His name is Bobo, for chrissakes.  He gave himself a clown/monkey name. Stands to reason he would make clown/monkey posts about his clown/monkey opinionations.

by OneHitKill on 03/04/2008 04:11:14 AM EST

[ Parent ]
I demand to know!

by Spencer on 03/03/2008 07:56:56 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I am an honest Republican.

Sometimes I just can't hold it in anymore.  Sometimes I get tired of the lies.  Sometimes I want to scream it from the rooftops: I want more of everything, and I don't much care how I get it!

Of course, I can't admit that all the time because some ignorant dope that I'm trying to convince to lower my taxes might think I'm selfish and don't care about him.  But sometimes I just can't hold it in anymore and I have to be honest about who I am and what I want.

I'll try to avoid doing that to much, but when I let it out, you'll know that I'm an honest Republican, and that's all you really need to know.

by KenTeX on 03/03/2008 08:18:59 PM EST

[ Parent ]
If Conservativism can provide such services, why doesn't it?  The Republicans have basically run 107 years out of the last 147 of our nation, through the presidency.  Let's see, we have had monopolies, the gilded age, rampant inflation, the great depression, epic deficits.  Further, the Republicans that I have known have always treated their workers like masters.  It is such a strange thing, being the party of Lincoln. 

If Conservativism was such a great philosophy, why is it everytime that they have complete control, our economy tanks?  Maybe your ideas are basically bankrupt.  Maybe selfishness, and greed, are not workable ideas.  Maybe war, does not help the economy.  Maybe Republicanism is a pile of lies!

by Truthand4Justice on 03/03/2008 10:10:47 PM EST

[ Parent ]
you can't blame the great Depression on the Republicans.

I mean come on, it's not like there was a Republican president, a Republican controlled House and a Republican Controlled Senate at the time (in addition to 5 consecutive tax cuts directly preceeding the event).  Oh wait...never mind.

As for war helping the economy, it does but only in the short run.  The return you get on bombs and bullets only comes once.  By contrast, you use that money to build schools, roads and bridges (etc.) and you get a return on investment that lasts decades if not centuries.

by ihavenobias on 03/03/2008 10:16:38 PM EST

[ Parent ]

Well, of course a bunch of dead customers will be bad business for a meat-packing company! 

I just don't want it to be MY KIDS who are shitting out their guts and dying from dehydration due to Ecoli because one of the most technologically advanced nations on the planet was waiting for market forces to sort things out.

AND, the reality is, the news cycle that featured my dead kids would be over in about 24 hours, the meat industry could afford ads to polish their image, as well as a hefty contribution to politicians who would continue to let them run a dirtier meat packing plant than...(there was a Tenderloin District rave joke brewing here - which I'll skip).

The meat packers will do all that while I'm deciding whether to pay my rural power plant loan, or medical insurance for the next time my surviving family decides to risk eating meat. 

by gdoud on 03/03/2008 10:35:15 PM EST

[ Parent ]
That's the achilles heel of the libertarian, free market will solve all problems ideology. 

The fact is, it's all well and good unless you or *your friends and family* are the ones that are injured or killed by unsafe food or other products. The whole "market will sort it out" line is much less compelling in that context.

Not to mention the fact that a system that relies SO heavily on individual responsibility and knowledge means people would be even MORE reliant on the media.  And the media relies on advertising revenue, often from large corporations that don't appreciate stories that might damage their bottom line.

Uh-oh, but who's going to stop the media from being influenced in such a way?  That would require (yeah, you guessed it) government intervention, which doesn't exist in libertarian/conservative fantasy land.

by ihavenobias on 03/03/2008 10:51:13 PM EST

[ Parent ]
This one, for example.

My ego is so expansive that I enjoy reading my alter ego.

If you use this character more sparingly, other participants will be less annoyed.

But please don't stop. I just don't want you to burn out.

by KenTX on 03/03/2008 10:59:35 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I'm here to make sure that we don't.  I want you to live, kid, because I want to live.  And you know that keeping some of this stuff all bottled up has been real stressful sometimes.  I'm here to help relieve that.  We can't have you growing an ulcer, now, can we?

Now, quick, log on again and reply to that idiot bastard liberal who thinks he's a know-it-all.

by KenTeX on 03/03/2008 11:53:05 PM EST

[ Parent ]

Oh yeah, how does a "competitive capitalist system" provide better health insurance when the ONLY place to profit in such an endeavor is to take it out of the hide of the customer?  There's 0% reason to advertise perscription medications or deny coverage to people, yet we spend at least 30% of the money paid into the system on just these things.

There are a lot of places where competition and capitalism are great, but not everything.  And if you don't understand that you shouldn't be banned from this forum, you should be banned from the planet because you are a fucking idiot.

And please keep the fuck off my roads, don't bother to call my police when you get mugged, and definitely don't think about breathing my air which my government keeps from being completely polluted.

Some people pretend like you conservatives are just working from the wrong frame, but really you're just stupid, greedy, and stupid.

by ynp7 on 03/04/2008 09:13:25 AM EST

[ Parent ]
You're subsidizing my medical costs and my retirement.  I get really great tax deductions while my pharmaceutical investments soar on rising prices.  You don't really think that's going to change any time soon, do you?  You liberal idiots don't have the guts to change the system.  And just try to keep me off the roads, or stop me from calling the police.  I pay my taxes, even if it doesn't hurt me nearly as much as it hurts you.

by KenTeX on 03/04/2008 11:01:17 AM EST

[ Parent ]
in the mid-south - read this a coupla yrs ago, printed off a stack of 'em, and went around putting them on the windshields of cars w/bush stickers onthem. It made me feel good, anyway

by 10sejed on 03/03/2008 07:43:30 PM EST


I know the subject has somehow spun out of control with the string of comments, but back to this original posting, I friggin love it. I was just thinking about that yesterday after watching a few Youtube clips on Creationism, and thus pseudo-science... Real science and concepts and realities of evolution are used every day in medical labs when coming up with new cures for ever-evolving bacterias and diseases... Dang liberals in their lab coats going around saving people's lives:)

by chrisandyasemin on 03/04/2008 12:07:48 PM EST


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