05/07/2008 10:24:44 AM EST

Welcome to South Florida.

posted by jazzchic

Formerly the 6th Borough, now the 51st state.  

...How the South revolts when Tallahassee spends so much time on Truck Nutz and Jesus Rose! license plates among other exciting things (keeping bestiality legal and not banning unauthorized [human] microchipping; they did ban Salvia.) I guess I am a criminal now for having some Salvia growing in the backyard...oh and someone go arrest Home Depot while we're at it.

...How the South revolts when mandates are handed down from the little redneck city to the north and there is no money to implement the [often unwanted] mandates.

25. RESOLUTION - SUPPORTING SEVERING THE TIES OF MIAMI-DADE, BROWARD, AND PALM BEACH COUNTIES FROM THE STATE OF FLORIDA AND ESTABLISHING THEIR OWN 51ST STATE OF THE FEDERAL UNION OF THE UNITED STATES; PROVIDING FOR CONFLICTS; PROVIDING FOR SEVERABILITY; AND PROVIDING FOR AN EFFECTIVE DATE. (Requested by the Mayor)

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Furious at what they call no respect from state leaders when it comes to collecting and spending their own money, the North Lauderdale City Commission passed a resolution requesting that Florida be divided into two states: North Florida and South Florida with the boundary line from Palm Beach County down through Monroe County.

Orlando Sentinal story

What did Crist have to say?


wow, a 2 for one at the tanning salon


Governor Charlie Crist just laughed when asked about the call to split Florida in two.

Official request to split Florida, the official press release, and audio clips from Crist and a South Florida mayor can be heard here:

http://www.wiod.com/cc-comm on/news/sections/newsarticl e.html?feed=122821&arti cle=3644165

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Welcome to South Florida. | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden)
Keep it on the not-so-downlow (none / 0)
Why is there a picture of bare chested men on the table in that Crist picture? All the trouble to appear straight with his equally orange woman and they pose in front of that picture?

by jazzchic on 05/07/2008 10:30:55 AM EST

Hmmm (none / 0)

"All the trouble to appear straight with his equally orange woman"

A new racial class.  Orange people.  I like that.  White folk dyed orange.  We would need to come up with a politically correct name for them.  Tannish-American?  Sunnish-American?  I don't know, this will require some thought.   

I wonder what MrFred thinks about this two state business for Florida?  Couldn't they have come up with a better, more catchy name than "South Florida".  Something like "Osceoliana" or "Seminolia" maybe, or how about "New Cuba"? .  People would have great fun with that first one. 

by bfaul on 05/07/2008 10:48:39 AM EST

[ Parent ]
I am an Orangeblood (none / 0)

Does that count?

Hook Em. 

by ProfRich on 05/07/2008 11:28:04 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Taking it a step further... (none / 0)
Why 2 states? lets take it a step further - They should revert "South Florida" back into territory status like Puerto Rico or a Commomwealth like the Northern Marianas. This would serve several purposes:

1. They would still be under our federal tax system, but it could serve as a shelter for those who just want to take and not give anything in return (Kind of like Puerto Rico but English Speaking). Miami already does this, doesn't it?

2. It would vanquish their right to vote in the general election - No more hanging chads, no more Cuban Repubican stronghold, no more South Florida BS... They can screw their primary all they want - it wont matter in November...

3. It would allow us to travel there w/out a passport and still access the keys without crossing a border (technically)...

4. This action would be seen as the first step in the Re-annexation of South Floridsa by Cuba (The Cubans believe they own it anyway, why not further the process?)

5. But most importantly, it would piss Fred off... and that makes me happy!!


:)


by bobo1 on 05/07/2008 11:07:41 AM EST

And people think bobo's racist (none / 0)
Its probably the Ol' Grandad talking anyway.

by ProfRich on 05/07/2008 11:42:00 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Split Away (none / 0)

Ive been pissed off by professionals. You sir are an amateur

I'm going to tell you a story. In the late 50"s Miami was dieing, literally. Miami was simply a stopping point for folks going to Cuba to gamble and a retirement and death stop for refugees from NYC. The tourist trade was doing OK but not  enough to provide the growth and economic base the area needed. No gambling, no nothing. No fun. There was a Cuban community in Miami most of which were trading in agricultural products from Cuba

Then the Cuban revolution happened. Suddenly, Miami and South Florida was full of Cuban refugees. Many were professional doctors, lawyers, engineers bankers, professors and tradesman.  The city changed...they worked hard and created a thriving city. You can say all the nasty things you want about the Cubans...they revitalized Miami and South Florida. Not only does Miami have a thriving tourist trade, it is a commercial gateway to Central and South America.

When the Castro(s) regime falls, some of the old timers will return. They will return to reclaim the property  confiscated by (the) Castro(s). Most of the later generations will remain in South Florida. When that happens, South Florida will go through an economic boom that your limited cranial capacity will not be able to comprehend. Cuba will have 50 years of catching up to do and most of the trade , manpower and expertise will come through Miami.

So laugh all you want to. We'll be just fine. I'll run for el líder. One of the first edicts I will make is to require passports for turistas estúpidos like yourself.

 

We'll also have a template at the border: " Brain must be at least this big for entry".  Youll never see the Keys again.

 

PS: I'm still looking for  the "Repubican" 

by MRFred on 05/07/2008 02:20:15 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Nice jazz.... (none / 0)

Good...divide away.

 Nice.Subtle as a brick in the face.

Charlie is gay by the way. Good for him.

Just like Wright doesn't make Obama a crazy black dude, that woman wont make Charlie straight. Got her phone number?

by MRFred on 05/07/2008 01:46:36 PM EST

Welcome to South Florida. | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden)
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