The Dumbest Email I've Ever Seen?

Google Technorati del.icio.us digg reddit
My girlfriend just received what might be the dumbest forward I've ever seen. Granted, I don't have many conservative friends so I usually don't see these emails.

Anyway, my GF's friend is Republican (of course) and she sent what is supposed to be a letter from Jay Leno. Obviously it was NOT written by Jay Leno, that part was debunked by snopes.

PS---The funny thing is, the argument that's being made by the conservative moron that wrote this email is pretty much the same argument that one of the resident TYT libertarians likes to make (he shall remain nameless).

Subject: Fw: It's a Big surprise! Jay Leno on the American Public

What a thankless people we are!!!

Jay Leno wrote this; it's the Jay Leno we don't often
see....

As most of you know I am not a President Bush fan, nor have I ever been, but this is not about Bush, it is about us, as Americans, and it seems to hit the mark.

'The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some Poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the cou ntry is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the President. In essence 2/3 of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change. So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, 'What are we so unhappy about?''


A.. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24
hours a day, 7 Days a week?

B.. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?

C.. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks
have a job?

D.. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at
any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks
from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to prese nt identification papers as we move through each state?

F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we
would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?

G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying
cuisine from around the world is just not good enough
either.

H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency
workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

I... Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.

J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.

K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer
equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to
defend you and your family against attack or loss

L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents.
Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

M.. How about the complete religious, social and political
freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the
world?

Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U. S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens.
 
They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11?

The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?


Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it...... are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day. Make no mistake about it.

The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go.

They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a
''general'' discharge, an 'other than honorable'' discharge
or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after
a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans?

Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations.

They offer what sell s, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O. J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way...... Insane!

Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.'

'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

Jay Leno

Please keep this in circulation. There are so many people who need to read this and grasp the truth of it all
< Did anyone Ever Write a letter to a soldier in war as a kid? | George, "supporting" the troops as ONLY he can. >
 Display:

We have nice restaurants, so who cares about our foreign policy.  Makes sense to me.  I don't see what the problem is.

by Spencer on 06/17/2008 04:03:07 PM EST


No, but seriously, why mention that? And what did Bush do to ensure that our hotels are numerous, safe and clean?

by ihavenobias on 06/17/2008 04:12:35 PM EST

[ Parent ]

"The Nice Hotels Act" of 2003?

All of these sorts of chain e-mails play into one central thing: everyone sucks but you.  People need to have an enemy, and in this case it appears to be some phantom guy who wants to make me show papers between states (?).  I always find it amusing that these sorts of simple minded e-mails are forwarded to me by the same people who send me the Obama smear e-mails.  Says a little about the thought process there...

The best part is that they attribute it to Jay Leno for some reason.  Like he's ever been a social critic of any kind.  Why did they put it on his name?

by Spencer on 06/17/2008 04:25:09 PM EST

[ Parent ]
He's a Hollywood Liberal(!).

So if JAY says it, hey look, it's gotta be true.

by ihavenobias on 06/17/2008 04:37:34 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Just the tiniest bit of truth to this otherwise "ridiculous" e-mail? Things could be a Hell of a lot worse, guys. I think its time Americans started appreciating this fact more! :)

by bobo1 on 06/17/2008 05:17:26 PM EST


You're so predictable it's scary.

by Spencer on 06/17/2008 05:23:27 PM EST

[ Parent ]
That there is truth to the post? Otherwise, how would you have known that I would have said somrthing? The truth has amazing effects on people!!! You seem to be able to read minds because of it!!! :) say it loud and say it proud, Spence: Bobo1 knows the truth!!!!!

by bobo1 on 06/17/2008 05:30:09 PM EST

[ Parent ]

Let's remember that this poll is about the direction the country is headed in, not on the way things already are.  We've had good food and air conditioning for awhile now.  The problems that people see are on the horizon.  The economy, the war, global warming, etc.

Your response was predictable because these e-mails are designed for people just like you.  Bitter "moderates" who can't see past their front door and think that everyone else is always the problem. 

"What are you complaining about?  You could be engulfed in flames right now.  Things aren't so bad.  It's mostly only brown people who are dying anyways.  Otherwise everything's coming up America baby!"

by Spencer on 06/17/2008 06:04:52 PM EST

[ Parent ]

In four years when President Obama is running for reelection and all those things are still true you will vote for him and every incumbent congress member, right?

And then four years later you will vote Dem for pres and every incumbent in Congress.

And four years later...

And four years later...

So all we really have to do is win this one election and the American political system can come to a close, huh? 

by ProfRich on 06/17/2008 09:45:40 PM EST

[ Parent ]
that it "could always be worse" is true by definition, right?

But so what?  In the context of a blatantly biased political email overflowing with uninformed opinion not supported by facts, how is that relevant?

Should we always compare our living conditions to those in third world countries as a way to measure the success of our presidents?  If so, it's shocking that the same dopes that agree with this email didn't have the same surplus of delusional sympathy and perspective when Clinton was in office.

by ihavenobias on 06/17/2008 05:36:22 PM EST

[ Parent ]
When are you Liberals gonna get over the notion that the general electorate makes their decisions based on ideas "supported by facts" and not on unsubstantiated opinions? You really need to realize that as high and lofty as that ideal may be, it certainly doesn't hold water in this country... Politics is perception - not fact. Politics is manipulation - sorting and shaping opinions and making people "feel" the way they want to. These sorts of emails - as ridiculous as it may seem to high minded individuals - can be effective in shaping opinions and feelings I and sometimes that's all it takes... But in this election, its gonna take a Hell of a lot more than this to get Grandpa Death elected!!! :)

by bobo1 on 06/17/2008 05:47:29 PM EST

[ Parent ]

Yeah, we could be Iraqis, or afghani cab drivers in Cuba....

by MedfordTim on 06/17/2008 06:36:18 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Man, that bar is set low. According to this new lowest common denominator measurement of presidential success, all of those Obama haters better change that attitude real fast if he's elected president.

We better not see any emails bashing him either, no matter WHAT he does, as long as we have some motels, grocery stores, houses and cell phones left.

by ihavenobias on 06/17/2008 07:12:24 PM EST

[ Parent ]
As soon as Bush and Cheney are out of office and strung up at the end of a rope I will be very appreciative.

by bfaul on 06/17/2008 08:23:30 PM EST

[ Parent ]

The right has officially become every Americans worst nightmare.

"You have a roof over your heads and food on your table so shut up". Do they not realize that is how (most) Americans will read this?

Reminds me of one of my favorite movies.

Republicans 

by z1p101 on 06/17/2008 05:44:03 PM EST


Oh well, no edit feature for comments.

by ihavenobias on 06/17/2008 05:48:23 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I always wonder if the aliens are the ones behind Obama's rise to power... Where are my special sunglasses DAMMIT!!!!! Thanks for the memory... :)

by bobo1 on 06/17/2008 05:54:09 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Bias, this e mail is not dumb, it is fucking spooky. Think about how many morons in this country will read this and say "yea, none of this is directly effecting me so things aren't so bad".

by z1p101 on 06/17/2008 05:55:25 PM EST

[ Parent ]
From, The Sky!


by ihavenobias on 06/17/2008 06:00:35 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I said that maybe things aren't so bad relative to everywhere else... I also said that high minded ideas and what not are not always effective with such highly apathetic and sometimes flat out stupid voters... Know thy voters, Zippy. How in the Hell is McCain still considered "in it" at this point otherwise? :)

by bobo1 on 06/17/2008 06:09:40 PM EST

[ Parent ]
YOU know the only reason McCain is still in it. 

It's because Obama is an empty suit, and for all his empty rhetoric and empty promises, the American people know The Truth deep down in their red, white and blue hearts.

by ihavenobias on 06/17/2008 06:19:17 PM EST

[ Parent ]
But I wasn't gonna go there... :)

by bobo1 on 06/17/2008 06:21:07 PM EST

[ Parent ]

"I said that maybe things aren't so bad relative to everywhere else..."

Remember folks, the poll is about the future of the country and not the present, which makes this whole e-mail/bobo's "points" pointless, appropriately.

by Spencer on 06/17/2008 06:22:04 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Pretty weak, man... I wasn't aware we were conducting another pissing contest, Spence - I was simply relaying my opinion on the chain email. You have to admit that there is some truth to it, even if you disagree with its delivery and intentions. That's all I was trying to say... :)

by bobo1 on 06/17/2008 06:26:10 PM EST

[ Parent ]

The e-mail is naming things that we already have.  The poll that sparks the rant shows people being worried about the future of the country.  Hence the disconnect.

It's like saying the Lakers shouldn't be mad that they lost this years title, because they'd already won it before.  The shit's weak!

by Spencer on 06/17/2008 06:35:06 PM EST

[ Parent ]
may be somewhat old.

I thought the latest polls showed over 75% of Americans think the country is headed in the wrong direction...in fact, I thought it was just over 80%.

by ihavenobias on 06/17/2008 06:31:45 PM EST

[ Parent ]

It hasn't changed.

by MedfordTim on 06/17/2008 06:41:15 PM EST

[ Parent ]
you have an incredible memory.  ;)

by Spencer on 06/17/2008 06:42:54 PM EST

[ Parent ]

Staying stoned is the only way I can keep my head from exploding due to pent up useless knowledge. Sigh...it's a burden, but a price I'm willing to pay.

by MedfordTim on 06/17/2008 07:13:23 PM EST

[ Parent ]
some years back about the effect of pot on melatonin in the brain.

If I remember right, smoking a joint caused a 400% increase (or something like that, it was a very high number, may have even been 4,000 although that seems outrageous) of melatonin.

I guess it shouldn't be surprising as that would explain why people get sleepy, but I still thought it was interesting.  I would have to think that chronic use would impact the wake-sleep cycle, and that many of the side effects of chronic (or even short term) use could be related to this as opposed to a direct effect of THC.

by ihavenobias on 06/17/2008 07:20:23 PM EST

[ Parent ]
You forwarded it to me!

by KenTX on 06/17/2008 08:24:47 PM EST

[ Parent ]

You're right.  I don't think Jay Leno would touch this ridiculous shit with a ten foot pole.

Why do these emails all sound like they're written by right-wing Christian types who get all of their information from their preacher and that simpering little vagina Sean Hannity?   (with apologies to women for comparing their body parts to Hannity)

 

by bfaul on 06/17/2008 08:21:02 PM EST


why this country sucks (and I apologize for the sorta kinda hijack).  Here's why.

by Spencer on 06/17/2008 08:40:28 PM EST



Fuck me that was funny!!

They went to the trouble of having an item in the newspaper he looked at - "Meteor Coming"! That attention to detail alone would give it 4 stars, but it is all around terrific. )Or, should I say, fabulous?)

Thanks. I needed something to clear my palette after my Bush rant.

And now, I know who to blame for Bush!

by MedfordTim on 06/17/2008 10:35:15 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I'm generally opposed to the marriage of music and humor, but this was ok.

by ihavenobias on 06/17/2008 10:39:29 PM EST

[ Parent ]
But it's an original.  It's not like it's a parody song.  Those are generally annoying (unless done by 23/6).  This one made me laugh though.

by Spencer on 06/17/2008 11:10:47 PM EST

[ Parent ]

I can't help it. I laughed my ass off when he smacked the little girl and she started crying. I've seen that before, it's not "I'm hurt" crying, it's "Oh, now I'm pissed!" crying.

by MedfordTim on 06/17/2008 11:54:06 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Being a Typical European citizen I want to see if we are fortunate enough:


A..
Is it that we have electricity and running water 24
hours a day, 7 Days a week?

In Spain we had the last time I checked

B.. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?

It's 30ºC in Madrid, in my office I have the A/c at 25º (must conserve energy)

C.. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks
have a job?

In Spain there is 91.4 unhappy folks with jobs

D.. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at
any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

Lot's of fruits and vegtables last time i looked

E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks
from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to prese nt identification papers as we move through each state?

I can drive from madrid to Stockholm stopping on the way at Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, London.....Didn't stop me once, all I need is my European ID just in case Police stops me for speeding with my fuel efficient car.

F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we
would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?

I think our Hotels are pretty clean and safe, we don't call motels though.

G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying
cuisine from around the world is just not good enough
either.

Spanish, Italian, French cuisine..we also have a lot od McDonalds

H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency
workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

We have nationalized health service, it won't cost us a dime!

I... Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.

I am one of more than 80% Spaniards that own a home. Spain has one of the lowest percentage of home rental (Cost the same as paying the mortgage)

J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.

Yeah, I think there are firefighters in Spain, they even have aeroplanes to extinguish forest fires, wow!

K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer
equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to
defend you and your family against attack or loss

In spain the prowler will not have a AK47 or any firearm and I think police come if you call 091 (equivalent to 911)

L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents.
Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

Hmmm I don't think we have militias in Spain

M.. How about the complete religious, social and political
freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the
world?

In Spain we have freedom of religion, speech, press, assembly, even a Socialist became President.

We are the envy of the civilized world too!!

by JaimeH on 06/18/2008 08:10:57 AM EST


I think the main problem with the people that make this silly type of shit up is that they really have no accomplishments of their own, and have to peg their pride and ego to something external, in this case nationalism.  Same thing as a sports fanatic or fan club member.  If there is criticism of their idol, it becomes criticism of them.    If you show that their idol is nothing really special, just one thing among many similar things, you are showing these people that they themselves are really nothing special.  And this scares the shit out of them.

  In the end it all comes down to whether you are stuck in the past, or looking towards the future.  Don't tell me about how good you are.  Tell me about how you plan to get better.

by funkyspoon on 06/19/2008 02:06:08 AM EST

[ Parent ]
 Display: