But I am stricken by the deep level of disappointment that I feel.  I mean, I don’t really believe (at least, don’t like to think I believed) that I thought he was “the one,” that is, the consummate transformative political figure of our time.  But I did buy into some of the hype, literally – I sent him 25 bucks!  And I also thought “this guy really is different!”  And I feel this shared pain when I read other white liberals decrying Obama’s sell-out of our Constitutional freedoms.

And he is different.  He’s a black man with a good chance to be president.

As a white liberal who whines about politics much more than he engages in them, I started thinking about the other would-be candidates.  What would they have done?  Jayar summed it up on the show the other day: Hillary would have flipped her vote in a minute if she had been the nominee.  I bet Edwards, had he been in the Senate, would have sold us out in a hot minute.  And most of us wouldn’t have been surprised at all.

If Hillary, or Edwards, or Biden or any other seasoned politician of the Democratic party had sold us out, we would have raised hell for a couple of days, and would have totally expected it.  It would have been the most obvious thing in the world.  But when Obama did it, we felt a sense of shock, a deeper betrayal.  Why should we?  

I have read accounts of African American professionals who state that to compete in corporate America, or even in civil service, they have to be better than their white counterparts to be treated equally.  They have to over-compensate for the drag factor of 400 years of institutional racism in America.  And if you think about it, Obama has done just that.  He has sold us out faster and harder than any of the potential white nominees could have, and still probably polls better after they would, had Hillary or Edwards done it.  His capitulation to the neocons was a 9.8 average on Democratic advisor scorecards, or so I imagine.  My problem was that I expected the 9.8 for the people.  At my age, I should know better to expect such high marks from a Democratic Party candidate.

So, as a white liberal watching my first black candidate for president since Jesse Jackson, and the first ever who had a real chance, am I disappointed because I really thought Obama was going to change the way things are done, or did I just expect more from the black guy because he needs to do more to earn my esteem?  Are white liberals pissed because we can’t deal with the notion of being ‘sold down the river’ by a black man?  Think about it: an African American had a notable role in taking away the rights of millions of white people.  

Maybe he is the candidate of change.