Open Thread - Alaska Edition

Email Print posted by desertpear 08/29/2008 10:11:36 PM EST

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I've worked in Alaska!!  Can I be VP? 


 

< Did Obama Make a Speech Recently? I Dont Remember... | Sarah Palin >

Poll

Sarah Palin?
Great surprise choice by McCain 10%
McCain is showing signs of dementia 90%

Votes: 10
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Open Thread - Alaska Edition | 27 comments (27 topical, 0 hidden)
This keeps getting better. (none / 0)

by Andrew Koenig on 08/29/2008 10:25:20 PM EST

Very nice. (none / 0)
No Dick Cheney as the Penguin though?

by Spencer on 08/29/2008 10:26:29 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Cindy will make a good evil hero (none / 0)
oh boy, won't Cindy be pissed when McCain and his little tart go trotting off together on campaign.  I hope the National Enquirer is watching them.

by desertpear on 08/29/2008 10:49:52 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Only (none / 0)
if they find a blond wig.

by ihavenobias on 08/29/2008 10:56:57 PM EST

[ Parent ]
help?!? (none / 0)
mel's diner

by tiggerporn on 08/30/2008 04:48:04 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Desert - Help! (none / 0)
Dear Miss Pear,

I think I need to lie down on the couch for a while. Ever since, who was it, Mace or Lil' Cease put out that "I'm Mel and you're Alice" song a few years back, I've had this recurring nightmare in which I'm trapped in Mel's Diner from the TV show Alice, and Flo keeps hitting on me and trying to have sex with me, but I'm only interested in the freak one Vera. Normally, even in dreams, I'm totally horny and will fuck pretty much anything, but for some reason I want nothing to do with Flo, which in turn turns her into a femme fatale of sorts, ala Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. And then she comes after me with Mel's kitchen tools, brandishing the ol' machette the way Mel often did himself.

Anyway, so tonight it happened again! I woke from a cold sweat. ONLY NOW IT IS EVEN WORSE! Because Flo wasn't just Flo, sweet dear "Kiss my grits" Flo. No, much much worse, Flo was being played in my dream by none other than Sarah Palin, gov of Alaska V.P.I.L.F. running mate of John McCain. Terror and the nightsweats gripped me. Perhaps the RNC and CIA have concoted a nefarious plan in which they can tap into people's dreams, or determine our secret worst fears from reading all our emails?!?

Thanks again,

Disturbed in Suburbia (the writer wishes to keep his identity secret)

by tiggerporn on 08/30/2008 05:02:59 AM EST

[ Parent ]
That was a Lil Cease verse (none / 0)

in Lil Kim's song "Crush On You".

by Spencer on 08/30/2008 05:18:05 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Wait to be on point Spencer for Hire (none / 0)
Good lookin' out for a bro. Now if you could just help "my friend" with his lil' Flo problem then it'd be nothin' but a thang chicken wang. But good lookin' out anyway....

Now it's coming back to me. Back when Jr. Mafia was the Jr. Mafia, before Jay Z took over the world, before Tupac and Biggie got offed, back when East Coast West Coast was the shit. She had on that blue wig right? They did it like what, blue and yellow and green? What was that a Hype Williams joint? Brooklyn in da house, what what? We are looking for the Brooklyn Queens. Man I'd bust it to Lil' Kim, she was lookin aight. Back then it was like Lil' Cease and Lil' Kim and Lil' Abner, nowadays everybody is Lil something. Damn, now it is coming back to me though "I ain't tryin to prove" shit can't remember the rest of it, guess I'll go watch it on YouTube or something.

BTW Pear I don't think you can embed on TYT in the forums, you need to use HTML. You could prolly do it on your profile though.

by tiggerporn on 08/30/2008 05:47:32 AM EST

[ Parent ]
you can you can! (none / 0)
I've seen Fred do it, and he tried to tell me how, but I failed ;(

by desertpear on 08/30/2008 04:51:52 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Mr Fred, or Master Fred.... (none / 0)
Ah, well, Mr Fred, say no more, say no more. I'm not worthy! I'll ask him in chat on Monday though, I'd be interested to know how he does it.

by tiggerporn on 08/30/2008 07:46:48 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Dear Disturbed (none / 0)

I'm sorry to inform you, but those are not night sweats, but "hot flashes."  The Department of Homeland Security has deemed your free thinking as a threat.  We decided to initiate a sex-change in you to reduce the testosterone that tends to amplify threats to the stability of our hypnotized nation.  You will continue to be attracted to women, but as a lesbian, not a man.  We are sorry if this provides any inconvenience.

Desert Pear, Department of Homo Security

by desertpear on 08/30/2008 04:55:43 PM EST

[ Parent ]
A rather close shave (none / 0)
Not to worry, just in the nick of time I started a "Bond-a-thon" with Moonraker and Goldfinger, had some black coffee, did some push-ups and watched some football. Can you believe I almost watched Oprah this week? A rather close shave, but I guess I like it that way.

Oh and I also stopped drinking tap water, Hillary has all the NY State tap water loaded up with tranquilizers and estrogen, part of her failed femi-nazi plan to take over the world, and I imagine some of it "leaked" into our jersey supply. I'm all good now though, watching the Yankees, scratchin' my balls, I should prolly go eat some red meat or something. Just to be sure.

Now I think I'll go finish watching Pussy Galore. No, no, not my porn collection, the Bond girl from Goldfinger.

by tiggerporn on 08/30/2008 07:43:03 PM EST

[ Parent ]
villainy (none / 0)
Wait, I'm confused, is Super Dubya a Super Hero or a Super Villain? And when do I get to play 007?!? Cause I wanna be 007. Least in this imaginary fantasy world in which George Bush is a good guy. I'll work on the "Bond...James Bond" line and you get back to me on that one, k?

Super Duper Dubya, crushing your economy! Laying waste to your precious resources! Slamming jobs! An invincible unstoppable force! Freedom doesn't stand a chance, this time, its personal....

by tiggerporn on 08/30/2008 03:00:45 AM EST

[ Parent ]
This Photoshop job clearly (none / 0)

takes place in Bizarro world.  Ken had that picture of Obama as the Riddler awhile back if that gives you any clarity.

Rumsfeld's checking out the Spidey package.

by Spencer on 08/30/2008 03:17:23 AM EST

[ Parent ]
This picture makes me so sad (none / 0)
If I had Kang's Time Sphynx I would go back and change it.

by ProfRich on 08/30/2008 03:37:50 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Don't worry. (none / 0)
Cap's dead now.  Rumsfeld can't hurt him anymore.  And Peter had this retconed out as a subclause in his deal with Mephisto.  He lost his one true love, but I bet it was still totally worth it.

by Spencer on 08/30/2008 03:47:40 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Alaska (none / 0)

Too damn cold, too damn dark. No way in hell I'd ever live there. Incredibly depressing.

The End

by ihavenobias on 08/29/2008 10:47:19 PM EST

Big and Little Russerts (none / 0)
Did anyone else catch Tim's son Luke Russert on MSNBC convention coverage last night?  Covering "youth voter affairs" and talking about how the "millennials" were voting.  Man, what a chip off the old block!!  Now I know some people didn't like Tim, but this kid could be something completely different.  It's like he was bred to do news. 

by desertpear on 08/30/2008 12:26:14 AM EST

Meh.... (none / 0)

That's all I have to say on that.

On a much more important note, scientists say that I like a link up to three times more when the poster sets it to open in a new window.  So woot to that.

by Spencer on 08/30/2008 12:40:43 AM EST

[ Parent ]
I learned that from Home Keys (none / 0)

I still haven't learned the complete YouTube embed secret though.

re: meh.  I understand.  maybe it was a girl thing--definitely schmoopie papoopie. 

I'm rockin to MedfordTim's music.

by desertpear on 08/30/2008 12:53:25 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Yes (none / 0)

I perused that earlier.  Some good selections.  But right now I'm listening to some shitty 80's rock drums through the wall of my pot smoking old gay couple neighbor's apartment.  Good times, good times... (he said as he clenched his teeth to avoid strangling them)

I haven't figured out the YouTube thing either, but Home Keys will get on it shortly.

by Spencer on 08/30/2008 01:03:28 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Now Who's The Celeb (none / 0)
 

by sfinneganus on 08/30/2008 01:00:59 AM EST

Booya (none / 0)

True indeed.

All of their Barack criticisms just went out the window.  Funny that.

by Spencer on 08/30/2008 01:04:18 AM EST

[ Parent ]
I demand the fairness doctrine!!!!11!! (none / 0)

by desertpear on 08/30/2008 02:46:15 AM EST

[ Parent ]
she looks muslim, doesn't she? (none / 0)
Or is she just half black bear?

by desertpear on 08/30/2008 03:08:30 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Political illusion (none / 0)
That Vogue cover is like an MC Escher.  How come the shadows on Palin's head don't match those on the rest of her body?

by OneHitKill on 08/30/2008 05:58:01 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Brrr (none / 0)

Looks cold to me.

by z1p101 on 08/30/2008 11:46:49 PM EST

Open Thread - Alaska Edition | 27 comments (27 topical, 0 hidden)
 Display: