Being of the opinion that your life as you know it ends when you die, is nothing to feel guilty about. It's just a belief. Do you think a Christian feels guilty for believing that I'm going to hell? No way. Why would they believe it if they did? So why do I allow myself to feel guilty for believing the way I do? I shouldn't. I'm going to make a conscious effort from here forward to be proud of my beliefs. I certainly have put enough thought, study, and work into forming my beliefs, so I should feel content with where I have arrived.

My friend's questions were interesting to think about. To be honest, I surprised myself in how confident I was about how I'd answer his questions. For years I claimed agnosticism for the sheer fact that it is impossible to ever truly know about god, life after death, or pure good and evil, without first-hand experience of them. "If I can't know for sure, why form a belief?" I'd tell myself. But as I've gotten older and had these questions in the forefront of my mind, I've found myself more and more comfortable with asserting the belief that there is no god in the traditional sense, that good and evil do not exist outside of conscious decisions made by humans, and that my specific consciousness will not continue on when my body dies. It is through years of study, observation, thought, and introspection that I've come to these beliefs, so why not take a position?

There is no god - at least not in the traditional image that the Judeo-Christian and other major religions purport. There is no "old-man in the sky" that watches our every move, knows what we're thinking and affects the goings-on of our day. It is this belief alone that allows others to define me (and in-turn I define myself) as an Atheist. But how silly is it to define yourself by what you don't believe? Pretty absurd if you ask me, but that is what society has stuck me with.

Good and evil do not exist without a conscious being who can realize them. Natural laws do not know the difference. A volcano that erupts and kills millions of people is not evil; a leader who orders an atom bomb dropped to kill millions of people is evil. A cat that plays with a rodent for hours until it dies is not evil; a person who tortures another living thing for pleasure or their own means is evil.

The life-force that makes me conscious does not continue on in its unchanged form after I die. The property that gives me life, that which makes me different than a rock, is an emergent property of my body. It is preposterous to me, to think that it would continue on - unchanged - after my body ceases function.

So what do I believe? Everyone can see that there is something that sets living things apart from non-living things. I believe that this is simply an "energy" or a "property of an energy" that we humans have yet to be able to understand empirically. To speculate on this, there may be different types of life-energy that emerge dependent upon the type of matter it exists within. Thus, the life-energy that makes a plant grow may be categorized differently than the life-energy that exists in a snail; the life-energy that exists in a fish, may be a different type than the life-energy in a human. I believe that this type of information is knowable, even if humans are not able to comprehend it yet.

Like all other forms of energy, when the system that uses it fails, it doesn't simply disappear, it must be dispersed. This is what I believe happens when our bodies fail. The life-energy that is within us disperses out into the world and is then drawn into other systems that use life-energy. Our consciousness is contained within the structure of our brains, so it does not disperse. As the body degrades, the information that once made up our consciousness is wiped away. And I'm o.k. with that. Maybe one day scientists will figure out how to synthesize our consciousness or individual personalities through intricate study and reproduction of a synthetic nervous system. Wouldn't that be cool.

Good and evil are terms that humans have come up with to describe behavior of other humans or collective societies. In order for an action to be intrinsically good, the person who performs the action must have knowledge of it being good. We see this with our kids as we watch them grow and develop. A toddler doesn't know if sharing a toy is good or not sharing a toy is bad. As they learn what behaviors (1) create a positive (physical and emotional) environment for them and (2) please others, they learn how to be good. As they learn what behaviors (1) create a negative environment for them and (2) hurts others, they learn how to be bad. Good occurs when someone behaves for the reason of improving the environment around them or because it help others. Evil occurs when someone behaves without regard for their environment or consideration for or intention of causing harm.

So what IS the purpose of life? It is here where I think people should be using purpose as a verb instead of a noun and ask, "What is the purpose in life?" And my answer is: to make the best of it that we can. Instead of wondering what the end goal of life is, we should be resolving to improve life as a whole. Instead of speculating of what happens in the after-life, we should be acting to improve the lives of our descendents. And we should just do these to the best of our ability.

For me, coming to these beliefs have revolutionized my world-view. I no longer worry about the salvation of my soul because I used a swear word - I now work to rectify injustices and inequities in whatever way I can. I no longer carry guilt around for not conforming to conventional wisdom - I cherish inventive and original thought that may improve the lives of those around me. I'm happy with where I'm at, and I think that's all I can ask for.